Vongola Style
by Ourliazo
Summary: (A series of unrelated stories.) Ch 22: Short snippets between ten characters, prompted by the questions. (e.g. You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside that hotel room for MORE then a few hours. What are you thinking?)
1. Harmony Factor

These stories will most likely be one-shots of alternate universes or ten years later. Pretty much whatever comes to mind.

Title: Harmony factor is terrifying.

Summary: Tsuna snaps. His friends reflect on how it is completely _unfair_ how over powered he is.

* * *

As per usual, the Varia and Guardians weren't getting along. Was it because of the clashing personalities? The fact that Xanxus was still pissed at Tsuna for gaining the title (even though the scarred man doesn't want it anymore, too troublesome) and holds a grudge, because he's _Xanxus_. Maybe it was Tsuna's fault for not putting his foot down and banning fights anywhere but the specified sparring areas.

However you look at it, it seemed only natural that the two groups would clash both with each other and internally. However, that fact didn't matter to poor Tsuna, who had to pay for all the fees accumulated from the destruction of the mansion and all of the really, really pricey artefacts within.

Then there's Xanxus, who goes and foists his paperwork off onto Tsuna, as well as try to kill him regularly.

Dino, who causes just as much damage whether or not he's fighting or just clumsy.

Enma is fine but his guardians are only a step down from Tsuna's in regards to property damage.

Byakuran is just Byakuran and, weirdly enough, a master at hide and seek. They lost him for _five days_. In their own base! Yuni was no help.

Don't even get Tsuna started on his own guardians, who cause most of the problems. Enemy famiglia at our doorstep? Don't have enough time - Lambo tripped and Kyoya got hit with the bazooka - we're all going to die anyway, might as well just let them in and escape while the biggest threat is distracted.

Well, Tsuna was done. Just done. No more. He tried Zero Point Breakthrough: Guardian Edition (one he came up with himself that made their muscles seize up) but then he felt bad and freed them, only for them to force him to do it again later that day.

Done. So completely done.

"Trash! Where are you?" Tsuna sighed into the pillow his face was mashed into and shifted around on his office couch. His annoyingly large belt buckle was digging into his stomach and the shirt was too tight. Reborn had been playing in his wardrobe again, shifting small things around and making him paranoid.

Just finished.

"Dame-Tsuna." Speak of the devil... "Get up, you have a meeting scheduled with Xanxus and then you need to find where your Mist hid a body."

Just. So...

A hand tugged on his hair lightly. "And not your creepy Mist either, it was Chrome." Tsuna lurched up to his knees and grabbed Reborn's tie, pulling him close and practicing something he's worked very, very hard on.

He was done.

* * *

When the Vongola guardians and Varia stumble in through the doorway to Tsuna's office, they grind to a halt almost immediately. The first thing they take in is Tsuna's back to them. His shirt was unbuttoned and slipping down his back, only his arms that were still inside held it up.

The next thing is that he's straddling Xanxus who was pressed completely against the back of the couch, his hands on Tsuna's waist. At this point in time, weapons that had drooped in shock were raised and aimed.

Both bosses haven't moved, nor reacted at all to the intrusion. Also, it didn't seem like Tsuna to not immediately leap away when discovered doing - ahem - acts so they charge forward more confused than homicidal.

Hayato is the first to circle around to see their faces but the rest soon follow. Centimetres apart, they were just starring at each other. Then Squalo caught sight of Tsuna's eyes. They pulsed orange and brown at changing intervals, spreading from the constricted pupil all the way to the rim of his sclera. Xanxus was completely still and, strangely enough, his pupils were spread wide as if to catch every movement.

Levi puffs up and open his mouth to scream at Tsuna but is interrupted with a punch by Lussuria who was taking pictures quietly at the back.

Tsuna inhales deeply and speaks with a calm voice.

"I will not force Tsuna to pay for bills caused by my subordinates again." Xanxus shifts a hand, tightening it against Tsuna, but slumps again in the next second. Incredibly enough, Xanxus echoes him back in a monotone voice.

"I will not throw glasses or bottles of alcohol at Tsuna." This time the Varia boss slides a hand to his X-gun in a hip holster. Tsuna's eyes pulse faster, slow and then faster again. Xanxus relaxes, responding with the same words.

A few more minutes and Tsuna's head snaps back as if there was something that held him before. Xanxus' head falls and jerk back up like he's trying not to fall asleep. They both gasp.

"So," Tsuna began, "what was that about bills, Boss of the _Independent_ assassination squad?" Even as he collapses to the side, still half flung over Xanxus' legs.

"You needed to p- pa- shit. I got it." Xanxus snarls and flops onto Tsuna, causing him to squeak and the breath to rush out of his lungs when they get squished. "Fucking harmony factor and your fucking hypnotism." Xanxus grumbles into Tsuna's bare chest, making him squirm, ticklish.

"What just happened?" Takeshi asks.

Tsuna tilts his head back over the arm of the couch, and looking upside down at them, his eyes pulse orange.

"Leave."

* * *

They snap out of it only when they cross the threshold. They then proceed to try and scrape their chins off the floor. What kind of unfair bullshit was this? Tsuna could freeze them, paralyze them and now this. If Tsuna was anymore evil he would be ruling the world already.

"Don't worry." Reborn speaks up, sitting on the floor outside with a belt tight around his neck. "He used it too much so your command faded quickly. Just don't look into his eyes, or wait until he gets too tired to continue."

Lots of eye movement and small nudges later, Belphegor got the unfortunate honour of asking the world's greatest hitman: "What are you doing out here?"

Reborn scowls and caresses a whacked out looking Leon. "I was first test subject." His eyes find all of theirs at the same time in a way only Reborn can manage. "I'm feeling quite bored, sitting here. You'll play with me, won't you?"

* * *

A/N: I can't believe that flame powers weren't elaborated on in the manga. I mean seriously, I was half expecting Hibari to just whack a wall and a huge concrete spike would jut out and stab his opponent. I admit that this power of Tsuna's may be far fetched but seriously, if I had propagation, I would fuck shit up. Multiply an opponent's heart tissue or something so it explodes out of their chest. Can we get some creativity here? I was most disappointed with mist flames, because pillars of lava were cool and all but a couple dozen spiders digging their way into an opponents brain would have been far more subtle and worked far better.


	2. Scalpel

Title: Scalpel

Summary: Of course Tsuna gets the short end of the stick, even when he hasn't been involved in mafia business since his father first told him about it. Kidnapped, he's desperate to stop these people from going mad scientist and cutting open a man. He's going to as well, even if he has to pistol-whip a few people.

* * *

_Ohgodohgodohgod_\- he very desperately tries to tune out the muffed, protesting screams from his fellow 'kidnappee' and, not looking at the man being prepped for surgery, negotiates.

"He'll be unconscious soon from the pain anyway. I don't see why we have to sit through his screams. It doesn't matter if you're sadistic; shrill, piercing screams is something no one likes because it's hard on the ears. So why don't you just dose him?"

Tsuna had woken up to bright lights and high ceilings. The kidnappers apparently thought he had seen them load a person into their van so they took him in so he didn't tattle. They didn't need to know he had been about to call the police to do just that when they ambushed him. From what he could get through snippets of conversation, they were in an abandoned warehouse that they converted into their base of operations and the men that took him were apart of some kind of mafia group.

The man they loaded onto the van was now wide awake, strapped to the table (Tsuna could have sworn he said something about biting before they gagged him) and shirtless as one of the kidnappers inspected his tools. Apparently he needed practice and so he was going to take out a kidney. The other poor sod that was kidnapped was a woman of around 40 with high moral fibres and so she kicked and screamed and got tied up and thrown in a corner.

At the moment he himself was tied with his hands behind his back and sitting on a fold out chair, trying and failing to make the leader next to him to use anaesthetic on the guy on the table. He came up with some pretty good arguments but logic doesn't compute with the man.

"He won't scream, he isn't as weak to do so." The buff, scarred boss says from his relaxed spot on another chair. The way he crossed his arms emphasised how ridiculously muscled the guy was. The tattoo sleeve didn't help Tsuna's courage either.

"I highly doubt it's in his power to control it considering he'll be cut open soon." He didn't get a reply to it so he tried again. "Anyway, the pain will knock him out as soon as he gets cut so you might as well just put they guy under."

"Don't worry about that, when the blood pumps it gives a burning feeling."

What did that have to do with anything!? He was going to be sick. The ropes that tied his hands had nearly been shucked off but it wasn't like he knew even the smallest of defensive manoeuvres. He knew where the guns were, knew where the 12 kidnappers were. He didn't know fucking anything.

"Look, can you just- stop- wait!" Calm! He was calm! Even though the 'surgeon' just made the first cut. "What are you doing!? That is not even near his kidneys!" The ropes were nearly off. The guy was slicing off skin from his patient's chest, checking the scalpel's sharpness.

"He'll survive."

A long cut was made and he saw organs.

"This isn't some C-rate movie! You do realise what you're doing?! That there will be consequences, most likely in the form of jail time and getting raped in the shower!" Okay, he was hysterical. One more twist and the ropes will have slipped from his hands. The leader stood up from his own chair and approached, looking very pissed off.

"Shut up already, you stupid-" The cliché rant was cut off when he sprang from the chair, the force sending it clattering backwards onto the ground. He tackled the leader and punched him in the face, other hand going for the gun in a hip holster. He smacked the man in the temple with the gun like he'd seen on TV but he didn't knock him out. Either way it dazed him so Tsuna jumped up, stepped away and turned, pointing the gun at the surgeon.

"Put you instruments on the side table and back the fuck up." He strode towards the guy who was slowly placing his tools down and circled around to his back. "Hands on your head, move and I shoot a foot." The surgeon complied and he managed to take the gun from a pocket in time to hold said gun to a man that turned the corner with a coke in one hand. They both paused and Coke-man's hand wandered to his belt. He shot the floor. Or tried to shoot the floor and instead the bullet slammed right into Coke-man's foot. The man screamed and toppled over, spilling his drink. He felt like throwing up again but simply backs away from the surgery table and the kidnapper standing there, one gun on the Coke-man, one on the leader who was now on sitting up, having been moving slowly the whole confrontation.

"Jesus' whore- you son of a bitch!" Garbled out the Coke-man, clutching his foot that was bleeding rather sluggishly. He pretended not to notice the wound, it was only a toe or two anyway.

"Thank you, now slowly throw the gun away." The man acquiesced. "Now, both of you, hand on heads, on your knees and eyes closed." Why eyes closed? Never mind. He tucked one gun away in his pocket, hoping it doesn't go off, and turned his sights back to the operator. "Now, dose him with anaesthetic- anaesthesia- whatever and sow him up. God forbid you kill him or his resulting scar even so much as irritates him or I'll show you just how precise I can be with a scalpel when I give you a vasectomy. Are we clear?" As an afterthought he adds, "Don't think just because I'm stopping him getting cut up doesn't mean I won't enjoy it if it's someone who deserves it."

He gets a slightly trembling nod, probably still focused on the Coke-man's foot considering they look alike. Maybe family.

He freed the woman and she sobbed louder. He tried to calm her but all she saw was the gun in his hand and freaked out. She was tied back up. He trussed up the other kidnappers with the spare rope and gaged them as well as locking all but one of the doors.

The surgeon finished and he was instructed to back away and get on his knees. For a moment he thought he was getting good at this and promptly stomped that thought into dust. He asked if the patient needed anything when he woke up. Hydration and rest was the answer and he had the doctor dose the other two and then himself unconscious with the nice threat of, "Because my pistol whipping skills are a bit out of touch so I might render you dead instead of unconscious."

When they were out, he dragged them near a table with wheels and untied the patient. The woman was next. He tried to calm her down but with the whole 'morals' thing she didn't like that he shot the guy. _He_ didn't like that he shot the guy but he wasn't complaining.

Eventually she simmered down with the promise that he would turn himself in to the police after this and she went looking for a better room. She came back successful and helped him load the men onto the table with wheels and roll both furniture pieces out and into the easier to defend room.

There, they moved the patient onto a bed and used the table he was on to block the door because there wasn't a lock. There are so many holes with his plan but it was the best he could do. They found cable ties and masking tape in the neighbouring room's drawer and tied one guys leg to another guys arm, two arms together, a foot to an upper arm, so on so forth. It was a struggle to not laugh hysterically at the pretzel they made.

It was a tense few moments as the woman stared at him and so he turned away, desperate to find anything at all to focus on. In the end he examined the guy with new stitches. The man was tall, with short black hair and the musculature on him was very intimidating. Actually, he kind of looked familiar, in that I've-ran-away-from-you-before sense. When someone chases you with some kind of lethal weapon, you tend not to forget it. Wait, is this man-?

Eyes open and zero in on him, the silver irises bring up memories best left buried in the Mariana trench or shot into the sun. Hibari-mother fucking-Kyouya shifts and raises himself onto elbows, scanning the room and sitting up, far too close to Tsuna who was perched on the edge of the cot.

"H-Hibari-senpai?" Those eyes snapped towards him. What? What did he do- oh. Damn it, he spoke out loud without realising it.

"Herbivore. You went to Nami-chuu?" Oh look, he's evolved from his catchphrase.

"Yes. Umm, do you know where we are?" Hibari stands, one finger tracing the edge of his bandage, and looks out the window from his new vantage point.

"There's no need. The Whip Herbivore will come soon." Hibari makes his way to the men, surprisingly stable despite just being cut open, and stomps on one of their heads. There's the violent man he remembers. It's kind of nostalgic, and made him feel safe, in that terrifying way.

The adrenalin had been bleeding from him for a while, leaving his body heavy. He slumps to the side and he falls onto the spot Hibari just vacated. He was so tried suddenly.

"Sleep." Tsuna's eyes, because that's all he could move, find Hibari. "Herbivores should not be carnivores. You pushed yourself."

There was a clamour outside, probably the criminals that finally discovered them gone, or maybe police. He didn't care; he felt so weary and tired. He was asleep in seconds.

* * *

A/N:

The entire time Hibari was like; "I feel no pain, mortals."

I have really bad reasoning for how Hibari got caught so you can make that up instead.


	3. Mukuro isn't a good person, but he tries

Title: Drowning

Summary: Mukuro has the most beautiful Voice; making people gather at his feet, desperate to hear more. Not out of free will. He supposes that's part of the reason why he was exiled. The other part was because his plans of genocide were half complete.

* * *

It was a lovely place. Beautiful, stable weather and green, green nature that circled the large town, towering higher than his home's trees ever could. The small, quaint houses were all brick and all made by ancestors, completely filled with family history. People were friendly, smiling at perfect strangers as they walked around to the parks or the markets. Everything seemed so much clearer, more colourful here. It was gorgeous, breathtakingly amazing.

It wasn't home and Mukuro loathed it.

They're all silent, he realised with in the first few seconds of arriving. None of them can Speak. Standing frozen in the market centre - in the loud chatter of bargaining, the screams of children running underfoot and as a pack of girls passed by, tittering and exclaiming loudly about something he didn't care to understand - he felt so lost in the silence. He thought for a brief, panicked moment, that they had taken away his Voice. In his terror, he exhaled on a desperate Please and was immediately surrounded by strangers with concerned voices, desperate to help but with blank eyes.

Even as confused as he was, he was still himself so; 'they can't Speak' immediately transformed to '_they can't Speak_'.

It was only a day later and he was comfortably accommodated with a nice, blank eyed family, heading out onto the street to begin.

Despite his dislike of this place, he can't help loving it on a shallow level. All the people here didn't know him, didn't hate him. It made him think of better times, within the arms of ignorance when they were all just children fighting to be the first in class. It was a close call every time, of who was the best. It should be, considering Vongola did everything in their power to have the greatest in their next generation. They'd blackmailed the Skylark's family, and did far worse to Mukuro's.

What did he get back? What was a pat on the head to the slaughter of his family? That revelation opened his eyes and he saw everything that was wrong with that dirty place. Of course he couldn't actually do anything, he was versing a powerhouse of epic proportions. It didn't matter that all of his friends were willing to light matches right alongside him, he was always going to fail – and a small part argued that he didn't want to drag his new family down with him.

However, his logic and reason weren't strong enough to bind him that day, when all of the moments just piled up and formed into one giant mass of _repulsive mafia filth_ that made him snap.

And oh, did he snap. It wasn't falling, he was diving as if to win a medal. His only regret was not burning everything, but he was mildly content in the reach of his destruction.

In his last few moments, before being pushed through to this silent mockery of Namimori, they tell him that he's a monster, that he's just fool's gold, and that not even Midas could help him. He laughs at that, but then they tell him his family is going to be punished for helping him, so he shuts them up as well.

Nevertheless, that was in the past.

They're so kind and welcoming here. He asked a round faced boy where the most populated area was and he was guided with sticky, chocolate covered hands to the main square. The branches of the market spawned from there, crawling through the streets to infect the rest of the town. The sound was almost deafening. He stepped up onto the central dais and inhaled deeply.

His first song was Converge and they came.

His second was Riches and they gave.

His third was Help Me and they stared with blank eyes.

Some days, he doesn't Speak and simply wanders the edges of the town, under the monstrously large, white trees blocking out the sunlight with dark green foliage. It's always cool in the tree's hold. Almost a frozen quality, harsh and uncaring. It reminds him of chains.

Other days he sings and sings and sings until he's hoarse. He'll throw his Voice until all noise within his radius is silent, entranced by his power. His vile carers, back when he didn't know their true faces, always said he had the most beautiful, entrancing Voice. So he sings until his money box is buried under a small mountain of gold coins. Until his audience collapse on tired legs from standing so long. Until children start to cry silent, ignored tears, unknowing of the fact.

He sings of sorrow and heartbreak because that's all he can manage now, because he's so full of black that the small amount of white can't even make a grey, no matter how dark.

So he makes them suffer too, these innocent people, and he makes them feel his own pain of being moved around like a toy; of being told he's going to harm others to help monsters, all the while ripping away his everything – his family.

He loves this place and these Voiceless fools, but some days he sings.

He falls into memories often. Some days he can almost see the black, fur lined coats and white bandages of the Vendice just around the corner. Other days he can hear them; hear their chains rattle and drag along the ground, ready to wrap him up and snuff him out with their cold metal links that dig into flesh. He can hear their low, gravelly tones blend with his own melody, creating something haunting that sounded like You Will Be Silent converging on his You Cannot Touch Me, mixing into Unstoppable Silence that hurts the ears on a different frequency.

He likes this place, but he likes home, and it turns into a thick syrup of _just one goddamned person, please_, because in the end it's less about where and more about who.

He wants his raggedy family back.

He's dying without them.

* * *

A/N: The prompt was 'He exhaled on a Love Me' but I went a bit off-course with it.

I'm also well aware of how jumpy it is. Let's pretend that was intentional and signified the narrator's disturbed state of mind, okay?

For those interested; I did another version, almost the same, but the backstory shifts to one where he slaughters the Vongola and razed not only the mafia but also the rest of the world to the ground. As a final 'fuck you' he escapes to this place, but he regrets, desperately wishing for a chance to re-do everything. (Because really, Mukuro with no one to play with would kill himself in boredom.) That was the original plot, but I'm trying to convince myself that Mukuro isn't _really_ evil, he's just misunderstood and needs hugs. So then this version happened.


	4. Windows

Title: Windows

Summary:The windows in Tsuna's office are very useful for watching his guardians to make sure they don't cause any trouble, both outside and inside the room.

* * *

The windows in Tsuna's office are very useful for watching his guardians to make sure they don't cause any damage, both outside and inside the room.

The floor to ceiling windows that span the left side of the large room may not look like they could protect the Decimo, but many times have people slammed into it, from both being thrown and trying to get out, and it's still held. It also serves another very important purpose.

Currently, Tsuna is behind his desk in his epic swivel chair and Dino sits opposite, simply chatting about how, yet again, Dino lost Enzio and only reports of 'Godzilla' being seen lead Dino to his pet. A phone call interrupts Dino's overly exaggerated motions as he describes 'that one sailor that got out his harpoon'. Tsuna had to wait a minute to calm down and stop laughing before he could pick up the phone.

Takeshi and then Chrome appear at the doorway, blinking at each other. They end up poking their heads around the corner and slipping in silently when they see the back of Dino and that Tsuna was occupied with a phone call. They pass Dino with smiles and stand casually behind Tsuna, Chrome almost directly behind and Takeshi at the bookcase to the right.

"No, even if Fuuta is offering to pay, he can't have pizza." Tsuna waits patiently for the reply. "Because he dropped those men off the roof." He sighs. "They weren't harmful, Jimmy, they were just rude and called him short." Tsuna jerks the phone away from his ear as the person on the other side suddenly gets a lot louder. When they quiet again, Tsuna leans back in his chair, slumping. "Fuuta, don't exaggerate. I have video evidence that they only called you short. And don't snatch things, apologise to Jimmy."

Takeshi catches Chrome's eye and twists so his back is to Dino. He slowly raises his hand, pressing his index and middle fingers down in the almost universal 'spider-man' pose. His other hand had snuck into his pocket for cheese spray and now he presses down, can hidden by his body. All Dino sees is strings of cheese launching itself from his wrist and Chrome dodging around to catch it with her mouth. Dino's eyes widen in confusion and Tsuna must have seen because he turns around to see Takeshi browsing the books.

"Look," Tsuna begins again, turning away from his guardian and pulling his feet onto the chair. "Just because everyone around you embodies insanity and some strange urge to prove that their alpha male, doesn't mean you can do it, too. Oh, great, now I sound like Kyoya when he tried convince me to 'assert dominance' over Reborn."

Chrome and Takeshi start to dance. Badly. Like disco, Macarena bad. All creepy gyrating hips and old, six-feet-under dance moves. Chrome gets a bit too enthusiastic and smacks Takeshi in the face during a rendition of 'bus driver'. This continues till Dino notices and chokes on a breath, bursting into high pitched, badly suppressed giggles.

Tsuna turns and sees Chrome staring into the distance out the window. He focuses back on the phone. He jerks up straight and bangs his knee when his legs fall off the chair. "No! Don't tell him. Okay, look, we're coming down this holiday so I'll give you a solid half-hour to do as many rankings as you want. Just please stop trying to imitate bad role models." As an afterthought he adds, "And please don't cause too much trouble for Jimmy. Mum is out with dad but she'll be back soon. You don't want her to come back to a damaged house, do you?"

There is a pause in Tsuna's conversation and Dino waits for Takeshi or Chrome to do something but when they don't he narrows in on Tsuna.

"No. Really, no pizza; you do need to be punished. I've been too soft. No, I'm not- okay, maybe I'm taking out my parenting on you instead of my friends but it's the safest option for me. Have I mentioned that Ryohei's and Squalo's box weapons were eating each other? I'm certain that kangaroos are herbivores, so there aren't any excuses for Ryohei, and Squalo just looks sad every time I ask him about it. I still have nightmares… or its Mukuro playing with me - I got a cut the other day and I don't remember how...''

Dino glances up and both of them are halfway through an interpretive dance about what seems to be seahorse mating habits.

Tsuna hangs up and swivels around entirely in his chair to the innocent looking guardians. "There's a huge, reflective window just over there."

Dino's head slams forward into the desk as he dissolves into high pitched giggles.

"Seriously, you aren't even funny. Stop doing this."

* * *

A/N: You know when you get bruises or small paper cuts and you can't remember how it happened? For Tsuna, it's always Mukuro. Even when it isn't, it always is.


	5. Happy Birthday? (Reborn edition)

Title: Happy Birthday?

Summary: There are intruders in Reborn's house and he is the furthest thing from happy. Someone was going to get a fist full of sun flames in the face. If only Leon was co-operating.

* * *

A strange feeling overcame Reborn, pulling him from a vague dream that he has already forgotten. It wasn't bloodlust so he kept feigning sleep. He stayed still, but every nerve ending tingled. Someone was in his room. He released the smallest amount of flames that he could, dispersing them into the air to get a better sense of the threat. 1, 2, 3… 6 of them were spread about the room. How did they find this house? Flames were in use but it was so faint he couldn't discern what type.

He felt warmth reach towards his face and in between one second and the next he rolled in the opposite direction, leaping to his feet and summoning his flames as he reached for Leon on the bedside table. A burst of yellow lit up the pitch black room but only managing a small sphere around his hands, not revealing any of the intruders.

He snatched up the chameleon expecting him to shift into a gun but instead Reborn found his hands pressed together in a Leon-bag. The light was stifled and he was back to being sightless.

"Leon-" Reborn wasn't allowed to think on his partner's actions because he felt a shift behind him. He whirled around, dodging backwards as a punch flew at his face. He narrowed his eyes at the darkness, aware that they were using flames, but unable to see them.

He dropped to the floor and swung out a leg, catching the intruder by the ankles and sending him toppling. The next second he was kneeling on the man's stomach, one foot pushing under a chin. He ducked and rolled when the air pressure signified a weapon approaching, unable to snap the intruder's neck because of the interruption.

That was fine, because even if he couldn't manifest the flames, they were always waiting under his skin. His bare foot had dug into the man's neck, so right about now the intruder would be collapsing to the feeling of his skin decaying. Reborn had sped up the renewal factor but cut off before new ones formed, only leaving dead cells.

Reborn tried to focus his eyes on the room but all he could see was black. His eyes should have adjusted by now. He ducked low and slid forwards, ramming his shoulder into another intruder's stomach. They rolled over his shoulder and thumped on the ground. Or at least they should have.

Reborn slid back, the kick missing him, and struck out with his leg, throwing the man across the room and into the wall. There it was again; no sound. He cursed his oversight. A mist user, that's what he sensed first. They were keeping the room black and soundless so they had the advantage.

He tugged at his hands, knowing that Leon was shifting at the strain but not seeing. He certainly wasn't going to hurt the chameleon but he didn't want to get kidnapped either. 'Kidnapped' because that's the only explanation for the men's actions; they weren't using deadly force and the one man who kept trying to get close was a rain user that was struggling to make him fall asleep, or at least make him loose concentration so his other teammates could knock Reborn out.

Reborn twisted, narrowly missing the weapon aimed for his stomach. He stepped back but his heel landed on something that definitely wasn't the carpet of his room. He tried to jerk his foot away, tilting his body away from a punch. Whatever he stepped on wrapped around his foot and crawled up his calf, pinning him to the spot.

He didn't want to hurt Leon so he used a forearm to block the blunt weapon aimed at his head, gritting his teeth at the pain. The man pushed his weight onto the object forcing Reborn to push back so his head didn't get taken off. Another blunt weapon slammed into his side forcing the breath out of him. The strange slime crawled up his leg, locking it into place. The rain user approached from behind. Someone ducked low and pinned his other leg into place with… was that ice?

Tsuna?

_Oh fuck the hell no._

Sun flames roared from inside Leon, filling the chameleon and overloading his system. The flame drunk animal fell from his hands, revealing the painfully bright yellow. He heard a curse from one of the men and smirked at the fact that he was over-riding the mist flames.

A hand pressed against his back, pumping concentrated rain flames into his body, trying to shut it down. He elbowed the man, forcing him away and hearing him gasp for breath as sun flames dug their way into his lungs, but Reborn's body was already slumping under the foreign flames in his system.

The weapon he was holding back with his forearm pushed stronger and Reborn tilted back, out of balance because of his locked legs. He collapsed, the man on top of him, and his back impacted hard onto the ground, the slime moving with his body - thankfully, because he didn't want a broken leg. Unfortunately, the ice wrapping his calf kept his leg bent upwards at an uncomfortable angle.

The mist gave up being subtle and wrapped Reborn's head tightly, blocking his sight even stronger this time. He barely moved in time to catch the blunt weapon in his hands. He forced sun flames into his hand, scraping his nails across his eyelids and pushing away most of the mist. He lashed out at the blurry man sitting on his waist, activating the other's cloud flames. Purple erupted from the man, deforming the weapons.

The intruder reared back in shock, Reborn using the pause to grab him by the shoulders and throw him to the side. He heard the weapon fall beside his head and quickly snatched it up, pumping yellow flames into the metal and stealing the traces of cloud flames. Reborn propagated the air in-between the ice, slime and his body, bulging the substances until he could slip away.

Reborn straightened up, glaring through the last traces of vanishing mist flames.

Mukuro kufufu'd and quietly tried to leave. Ryohei was slumped against the bed, sun flames pouring from his hands into his reforming windpipe. Hayato was lying at the base of a wall, unmoving. Takeshi breathed shallowly, clutching at his chest. Kyouya clawed at the thick chain around his neck that was cutting off his breathing, his clothing and everything else was thicker and warped strangely.

Tsuna laughed nervously.

"That was pathetic." Reborn growled out, reaching out and cuffing the back of his head. "It took four minutes to down all of you."

"H-happy birthday?" Tsuna stuttered out, making Reborn pause. A cracking sound signified Kyouya had broken the chain. Ryohei staggered to his feet breathing normally. Takeshi slowly got to his feet as well, accepting Ryohei's flames. Hayato groaned and shifted slightly. Mukuro had already nope'd out of there.

"Did you try to kidnap me for a surprise birthday?" Nervous laughter came from Tsuna as he edged backwards. "I asked a question, Dame-Tsuna. Where's my answer?" Reborn stalked forwards, grabbing Tsuna's shirt in a fist.

"_I wanted to give you a great birthday and asked the others and Colonello suggest this and because Yuni suggested an amusement park and I'msosorrypleasedon'tkillme." _Tsuna cringed away, raising his arms as a defence.

"I didn't catch any of that. How about you try it slower, with pauses." Reborn shook him, ignoring how the other occupants of the room tried to quietly slip out, dragging their unconscious teammate with them. Tsuna gulped.

"I wanted to give you a good birthday and so I asked your friends-" Reborn scoffed but Tsuna continued like he didn't hear him. "-and they suggested an amusement park, so I bought the entire day and we were going to surprise you. Except, the only way to do that was if you weren't conscious, otherwise you could read it from our minds-"

"You're just obvious."

"-so we had to keep you unconscious." Tsuna gave a little shrug and looked down at him with big, apologetic eyes.

"And you thought you could get away with it, why?" Reborn raised an eyebrow at the floundering mafia boss.

"Well, you look like your fifteen so I kind of just expected to walk in and…" Tsuna trailed of at the pissed expression on Reborn's face. "I should go now." He wriggled free of his jumper, sacrificing it so he could speed out of the room.

* * *

Omake:

"-so we had to keep you unconscious." Tsuna gave a little shrug and looked down at him with big, apologetic eyes.

"Were you really going to drag me out like this?" Reborn gestured at his body - more specifically, the fact that he was only wearing loose pants.

"Well, we were going to dress you…" Tsuna trailed off at Reborn's blank expression.

"I think we need to set some ground rules for birthday parties." Reborn held up one finger. "One: no stripping-" Tsuna flailed, managing to smack Reborn's hands away, and running as soon as he could.

* * *

A/N: In this fic it has;

**Sun flames** ability to 'activate' the traces of other flames. It has what I totally think would be an awesome interrogation technique – the killing of flesh via the 'healing' property. It has a way of sensing – at the start when he let out a small amount of flames, and spread it about the room.

**Mist flames** made the 'slime', as well as physically condensing around his eyes. The room was an illusion, pretty basic.

**Rain flames** are able to slow down the body's processes forcefully. I wasn't able to fit anymore in this short story.

To the two Spanish people in the comments; do you use google translate on my story, or do you speak English and simply enjoy confusing me? I'm honestly curious about this. (*insert smiley face* because I don't know if that sounded accusing.)

Thank you for comments. I have a lot of ideas about the properties and I will continue exploring them.


	6. TYL x 4

Title: TYL x 4

Summary: Something's wrong with the bazooka, but it's not necessarily a bad kind of wrong. (In which there are four Tsunas.)

* * *

When the bazooka careens towards Tsuna, he doesn't even try to move, too exhausted from all of the weirdos in his life.

It started vaguely normal when they all met on Friday to spend the weekend in Italy. They hopped on a plane and while it was noisy and the threats were creative, if not physically impossible, they all made it safely to the ground - unlike that one time they had to parachute to safety.

They made it to the headquarters with only one sniper (and why does he consider this a good day?) that made Gokudera disappear and return with a smile on his face. The next obstacle was the Varia, already flopped over as much furniture as they could manage in a weird passive aggressive protest. The rest of the day went peacefully (probably because of jet lag), but when he arrived at breakfast the next day, there was already a hole through a wall and scorch marks on the floor.

Using his powers of selective ignorance, the rest of the day went well. As it turns out, it wasn't just his denial speaking. They were actually behaving themselves. However, they still had one more day to get through (or at least half a day, until they had to catch a flight back).

The last day they spent at the mansion started off poorly. He arrived to absolute silence and it almost made him cry, because that was never a good sign.

Then Lussuria had to open his mouth and try to flirt with Hibari. If this was a graph, the red line indicating mood would plummet in straight line, and then smash through the bottom edge. If this was a star it would have just condensed, waiting to explode into a supernova. If you wanted a cooking metaphor - well, you get the point; shit went down.

In the midst of enraged screaming and the sound of property damage, Tsuna just kept eating his delicious pancakes. Mostly because he just couldn't drag himself away from the food, but also because this was bound to happen and its best to get it out of the way now instead of his guardians releasing it a couple hundred kilometres in the air.

He thankfully managed to eat all of his pancakes before a large purple thing bopped him on the head.

* * *

As one, they stopped trying to maim each other and turned to the cloud of strangely coloured smoke. They hear a few thumps and groaning, which make them even more interested than before. None of them had seen an older Tsuna in the future and the bloodlu- curiosity was killing them.

When the smoke clears it's a tangle of bodies; more specifically, four Tsuna's in a pile.

One of the Tsunas pushed himself up on another one's back and swung his legs on to one side like he was about to stand. He didn't -instead, he smirked at them. The one he was sitting on managed to get to his hands and knees so he wasn't squishing the other two. Their Tsuna was flopped over the last ones chest, face mashed into his neck. The last one just groaned in pain.

The one sitting was thrown off, landing on his feet lightly and turning to survey the other Tsunas. The one he was sitting on reached down to help up the other two. Once he made sure they could stand he pointed at their Tsuna. "Tsuna." He declared before pointing at the other one he helped up. "Yoshi." He jabbed an annoyed finger at the amused one. "Tsunayoshi. And I'll be Sawada."

Sawada was clearly the oldest, presumably at forty-seven considering the bazooka went up by tens. He was decked out in a sleek black suit that was definitely tailor made. His hair was the same length as Tsuna but his was flat against his head, causing a side fringe.

Tsunayoshi, thirty-seven, crossed his arms and nodded in agreement to the names. He was clad in what Sawada was wearing but without the buttoned up suit jacket, leaving the pristine white shirt untucked and sleeves rolled up, with a thin black tie. His hair was also flat, but double the length and was gathered into a braid that hung off one shoulder.

Yoshi, twenty-seven, had simple black jeans and a thin, dark green hoddie on. His feet were covered in plain white socks and from that it was easy to see that he had been relaxing. His hair was still as puffy as ever, and just a bit longer than Tsuna's.

All three were about a head and a half taller than Tsuna and their features held no soft lines or baby fat. They acted and looked more mature than the stuttering, freaked out seventeen year old.

"Fight me." Blurts out Hibari, falling into a stance. The other blood thirsty males simmered in the background, waiting for their turn. Gokudera was passed out because of how emotional he became at how awesome his Jyuudaime was. Chrome pushed him under the table so he wouldn't get hurt.

"What's the magic word?" Teases Tsunayoshi.

"After I get pancakes." Promises Yoshi.

Sawada, on the other hand, takes one look at him and dismisses it entirely. In normal Hibari fashion, he snaps out his catchphrase and launches himself at the closest one, which was Tsunayoshi. It's a split second before Hibari's tonfas connect that the three blur into motion. When they still, Sawada stands centimetres from Tsunayoshi, a tight hold on his wrist. Yoshi stands off to the side, arms wrapped around a stunned Hibari. His tonfas are buried in the ceiling and there's a shallow cut on his face, only just starting to bleed.

"Now, now," Sawada berates. "That was rude." He releases Tsunayoshi's wrist and ignores the pouting. He turns to Yoshi, who lets go of a pissed off Hibari, and offers his hands as a step. Yoshi takes it and Sawada lifts him up so he can grab on to the embedded tonfas. It takes a few pulls but they come out eventually.

"He broke in to my bathroom yesterday." Tsunayoshi justifies as Yoshi hands over the weapons. "While I was showering. There was no reason, and heaven forbid he actually apologise."

"That's no excuse." Yoshi states, sidestepping a swipe from Hibari. "You're almost twenty years older than him. Get revenge on your Kyouya, not this one." He feints left and spins right, appearing behind Hibari and grabbing him in a bear hug again.

"That's easy for you to say." Tsunayoshi crosses his arms and watches Yoshi wrestle the teen to the ground. "Your guardians can't break out when you freeze them." Yoshi stills from where he was sitting on Hibari's stomach and looks up at Tsunayoshi in fear.

"T-that's my only respite." He whimpers. Sawada steps in just before Yoshi gets a tonfa to the face, dragging Hibari away from the shocked man.

"That's still no excuse." Sawada comments, tugging the tonfas out of his hands and tossing them at Yamamoto. "There's no such thing as pre-emptive revenge." He has to speak louder because of Yamamoto's pained laughter and incensed screams from everyone else. "Don't worry, we develop a new technique just for them."

Reborn interrupts before Hibari breaks off Yamamoto's arm, and before the rest get to rowdy again. "Dame-Tsunas, you should be able to control your subordinates already." Reborn rebukes teasingly. Laughter broke out from all three.

"Like you're one to talk, Re-baka." Tsunayoshi smirks and tilts his head for the bullets to sail past.

"You lose to me at twenty. Don't act so untouchable." Yoshi slips away in a smooth move, dodging machine-gun fire.

Sawada just smiles as the bullets stop mid-air, centimetres from his person. They drop to the carpet, clinking against each other. Reborn huffs but looks almost proud.

"How's Vongola in the future?" The baby hops onto Tsuna's head. The three Tsunas just look at each other and mumble vague sentences. Sawada has to tilt his head away from the bullet and Yoshi slides away from a poisoned dart. Tsunayoshi just catches the harpoon-shaped Leon and pets the chameleon.

"Calm down, Reborn." Sawada reassures, picking up Leon and giving him back to hitman, making sure to flash the Vongola ring in its perfect condition. "Everything is fine."

"Damn, that's some lie-" Tsunayoshi cuts off with a yelp as Sawada tugs sharply on his braid. Yoshi snickers into his hand but gets kicked in the shin by Tsunayoshi. It descends into wrestling from there. Sawada smiles charmingly and directs them away with a foot when they roll by. Reborn raises an eyebrow but doesn't bother to comment.

* * *

Sawada calmly instructs everyone to the table so they can finish their breakfast. When his two younger counterparts roll by again he snatches them up and sits them down forcefully. All three have to redirect questions on how strong they are with vague answers, and talk about the parts of Vongola that are essential but don't reveal anything about their time as boss.

They settles arguments even before they start, and eventually everyone is talking civilly – or as civilly as these people get (Xanxus hasn't stopped growling). When they finish it takes a few minutes for everyone to realise that they have no concrete information about anything of importance. It's fortunate for the Tsunas that they've already escaped to their bedroom.

* * *

Yoshi and Tsunayoshi flop onto the giant bed and coax a hesitant Tsuna on with them. Sawada just pulls the desk's chair over and settles in with his ankles crossed on the quilt.

"That was less tiring than I thought it would be." Yoshi admits, propping up his chin on his arms. Tsunayoshi chuckles from where his head is pillowed in Yoshi's back. His legs were covering Tsuna's from where the youngest was sitting up against the headboard.

"No offense to your guardians, Tsuna, but they get really bad later." Sawada smiles at Tsuna despite that ominous warning and Tsunayoshi and Yoshi laugh. "We master Zero Point Breakthrough by time we're twenty, just for them. It takes half a second, flat, to cover them entirely."

For some reason, even though they're pretty much strangers and far older than Tsuna, he feels himself relaxing in their presence. He thinks that this is what it would be like to have older brothers. They feel calm but playful and he knows that he's safe with them. Tsuna sighs inwardly. Confidence changes everything. He can't wait until he was strong enough to not care. Maybe he should ask when it happens? He glances up from his lap and sees them smiling at him.

"Wha-what is it?" He curses the stutter.

"We were really cute when we were younger." Yoshi comments. Tsuna proceeds to flail about with his face red.

Tsunayoshi scoffs. "What do you mean 'we'? You're still young and cute." Sawada just bites his lip to keep form warning Tsunayoshi about how they were at that age. In fact, the man probably knew and wanted to stir up trouble. Yoshi springs up onto his knees and glares.

"I'm handsome, not cute." Tsunayoshi rolls onto his knees and manages to pinch Yoshi's cheeks before he could get away.

"Dawwww~ So cuuute~" He mocks, managing to stretching Yoshi's face a bit before he's tackled off the bed. Tsuna tries to muffle laughter at how childish they were acting. It was like a friendlier version of his guardian's rivalries (thank the Gods).

Tsunayoshi comes out the victor, pinning Yoshi to the floor and sitting on his hips. Yoshi grumbles half-heartedly and tried to tug his hands away from the tight grip Tsunayoshi has keeping them above his head.

Tsuna can't help but think they look really close, and that the voice Tsunayoshi was using to tease Yoshi was suddenly low and intimate. It doesn't help that they were both very attractive men and that the way they interacted had lots of touches.

Then he blinked and reality snapped back into place.

"When did I become a pervert?" He blurts out in shock at his imagination. There's a pause and suddenly Yoshi laughing so hard he's crying and Sawada falls off his chair in his hilarity. Tsunayoshi's jumps to his feet, trying to defend his actions as friendly but he was stuttering so hard it came out in a jumbled mess. Tsuna, on the other hand, was trying to suffocate himself with his pillow.

"Yeah, when did I become such a pervert?" Yoshi jeers before having to crawl under the bed to escape Tsunayoshi's kicks. Sawada has to step in and calm everyone down. It takes a while but they're back on the bed and Yoshi's stopped giggling hysterically.

In the comfortable silence, Sawada beeps. The other three give him weirded out looks. Sawada laughs at their reaction and shrugs. "It's just a tracker." They blink in confusion. "Oh, right, they haven't told you yet."

"Haven't told us..." Tsunayoshi trails off uncertainly. "Maybe it's better if we don't know."

"I want to know." Yoshi chimes in.

"Well," Sawada begins, using a finger to tap his chin as he thought back. "They started getting antsy when we went out on our first solo mission. I think they brushed it off as a type of punishment or something, to justify it to themselves. Every time we got injured badly, they'd put another tracker in. Eventually, it got to the point where they developed it with cameras and speakers. It just seems normal to me now." He smiles innocently at them, like there was no reason to be alarmed.

"What the fu-!" Tsunayoshi barely managed to cut himself off, remembering that Tsuna was in the room.

"Whoa, wait! When Irie asked to scan me other day-!" Yoshi shuddered.

"They can't just do that! That's so creepy! We literally have no privacy!" Tsunayoshi reached over and grabbed at Sawada's suit.

"Do remember if they put any in me?!" Yoshi pulled up his hoodie to stare at his abdomen, hoping he'll suddenly develop x-ray vision.

"I think it started with that ambush turned kidnapping." At the calm tone, Yoshi pulls down his hoddie and Tsunayoshi releases Sawada's collar. Both of them could admit that it was a good reason but they should have been told. "After I got back they put in the first one."

"I feel violated." Yoshi's soul tries to float away but Tsuna grabs it and stuffs it back in.

"Whoa, wait." Tsunayoshi crossed his forearms into a large X. "When do they develop cameras and speakers?"

"I think you should have one already-" Sawada gets cut off when Tsunayoshi jumps off the bed.

"Mother of –" He sucked in a breath and spun on his heel to face the wall, punching straight through. He yanks his hand out, along with some of the wall's plaster, and turns back. "Okay, I'm better now."

"I'm not! Did you talk to them about this- this-" Yoshi fumbles with the words in his anger.

"Travesty!" Cries out Tsunayoshi, not as okay as he thought.

"Actually, I've stopped caring." Sawada admits. Tsunayoshi and Yoshi collapse on the bed at such a laid back tone.

"What does the beeping do?" Tsuna asks.

"Tells me when they turn the more trespassing ones on or off." Sawada blinks at the suddenly calm faces.

"So it works across time?" Yoshi asks serenely.

"Yeah."

"Good." Tsunayoshi and Yoshi snarl. They leap at Sawada forcing him onto his back, and despite never being told, glared right into his eyes, where the contacts-turned-cameras were.

"You got off easy." Yoshi accuses. "As soon as I get back I'm freezing you all and dropping you into the ocean." Tsunayoshi pushes him to the side and bares his teeth in a smile.

"I'm feeling merciful," He purrs. "So instead, I'll just break all of your legs and lock you in the freezer." Yoshi pushes back until both of them took up Sawada's sight.

"Enjoy the cold while you can, because where you're going, it'll be fire and pitchforks." Yoshi snaps.

"Unless you'd prefer my fire." Tsunayoshi stares back threateningly with half-lidded eyes.

Sawada just laughs and wraps his arms around the two, pulling them down onto his chest. "Shouldn't you be angry at the younger ones, Tsunayoshi?"

"Whatever," He huffs, looking away. "I remember someone telling me pre-emptive revenge wasn't a thing."

* * *

Its a few hours later that everyone is summoned for the plane back. Apparently, no, the three aren't at all freaked out or worried in the slightest that they haven't gone back. In fact they seem to be really enjoying themselves. They end up playing card games with all of the guardians and plane staff. Tsuna's just glad that it's a privately owned jet or some unfortunate, normal person would have died in the crossfire when Mukuro kept on winning.

They touch down at the airport and stumble through a mockery of security before watching the sun set on the drive home. For some reason the three insist on making dinner, finally chasing their mother out with suddenly appearing movie tickets. Apparently he becomes a magician when he gets older, because they also magic away everyone else, even Reborn.

They settle into the kitchen after Yoshi brings up a recipe on Tsuna's phone. It wasn't a difficult one, but his older selves made it drag out, having to restart three times. Tsuna sits safely on the counter and reads out the instructions as the others slip around each other, working easily side by side.

It's very difficult to not laugh whenever Sawada looks confused at the flour that's falling down around him when he moves. Tsuna had a feeling that he does know what's happening but just pretends to not notice the crown of flour they're sneakily dusting onto him.

Then again, Sawada and Tsuna exchange smirks when Yoshi adds another line of sauce to his painting on Tsunayoshi's back, or when Tsunayoshi slips another piece of lettuce into Yoshi's pockets.

Unfortunately, the three never get to eat because just as they set the table, they disappear into purple smoke.

Kyouya never did get that fight.

But Tsuna was reassured that his future was a bright one.

* * *

Omake: where Tsunayoshi got the idea from.

Mukuro: "Regret is not a forward motion. Try for vengeance. Pre-emptive vengeance."

Tsuna: *sigh* "That's no excuse for stabbing people."

* * *

A/N: I have to be honest. These stories are the ones that aren't good enough to be by their self, whether it be due to how short they are or how badly they were written. This is of the latter kind and I'm not inspired enough to try again. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not.


	7. I do

Title: I do

Summary: The only time Mukuro possesses Tsuna, no one remembers. They were all too shit-faced drunk.

* * *

Tsuna happily manoeuvres around the room, saying goodbye to the guests that had been filing out ever since it hit midnight. Now, at two in the morning, the only ones that remained were close friends.

The 'after party' they were having mandated that close allies were present, and so he had to invite other bosses and suppliers, which was a bit awkward. The entire time, the more insane Mafioso were screaming up a storm and laughing like rowdy children on a sugar high.

The more normal –as normal as you could get in the mafia- people were clustered together in tight groups as if they could get away from the craziness. None of them succeeded. Everyone got dragged in at one point to play a massive game of twister. Bones were broken and insults were hurled.

Thankfully that was all over now. At this point in time, everyone was too drunk to be more than a minor hassle. They must have used up all of their energy on the third dance battle of the night –and damn could Verde breakdance- so they were now calmer.

Reborn had stumbled away after drinking Xanxus under the table, getting all of the other bosses drunk in the process. They had left as well, dragged or carried out by their Guardians. Iemitsu skedaddled with Nana after she became a loud drunk and started singing 'Eye of the Tiger' on repeat.

Of those still in the room, Ryohei and Lussuria had gathered a small group of the Varia and Guardians for an arm wrestling competition. Mukuro is in a corner crooning disturbing songs into an almost comatose Hibari's ear. Chrome is humming along to Mukuro's singing, leaning on Kyoko and Haru.

Bianchi is whirling around, writing her love for Reborn into the walls, dissolving the plaster and wood in her wake. Levi was trying to gently curl up at Xanxus' side but kept getting punched or kicked away by the very much unconscious boss. Must be a natural reaction to Levi, Tsuna hypothesised, when he spies Belphegor on Xanxus' other side, tiara clutched to his chest.

A roar of excitement sounded from the arm wrestling group as Ryohei slammed down his opponents arm. Lussuria immediately tried to persuade him that because he won, he now acquired the Varia sun's body. Ryohei ignored this in his usual oblivious fashion and instead looked around for someone else to challenge.

He spies Tsuna standing at the back and calls him over. Tsuna, being very, very, very drunk, accepts and settles down. Before they could clasp hands, Squalo is shoved by Hayato and bumps into Tsuna, sending him toppling off the chair and under the table, into the unfortunately placed bazooka.

They all spring back from the cloud of smoke, flailing their hands to disperse it faster. When the smoke clears completely, a large bundle of white cloth appears, obscuring most of the person who held it. Takeshi glances down and blinks in confusion at the two bare legs sticking out. The older Tsuna was naked apart from white boxers.

"What the fuc-" Hayato is cut off when the bundle shifts and starts talking.

"Oh, good, can one of you set a timer for ten years? The manta ray in the basement needs to be fed soon." The figure struggles with the cloth and successfully pulls part of it over his head. A muffled 'Oh' comes through. "And you need to get Enma and Julie out from the side room in the flooded basement."

"What? Are they okay?" Ryohei asks, wondering if he should help Tsuna with dressing, but the man's head finally pops through. Xanxus' snore cuts in from where he's flopped over the table.

Tsuna shimmies a little and the cloth falls to the floor in luxurious waves, clinging to his figure and forming a dress and trail.

"Is that a wedding dress?" Squalo is waved off as if that question was unimportant.

"Look, we sealed the door. So no, they aren't drowning. As for the other two, there was a really big party and the after party was even more of a bad idea, because Byakuran decided to mock Kyoko, and damn Kyoko is an angry drunk, which started a fight and..." Tsuna trails off, finished with adjusting the dress to perfection. His slim body actually pulled it off.

"Look," Tsuna held up his hand in surrender. "The short story is that I'm a little bit drunk, everyone else is a little bit drunk, and most of all, we can fake sober exceedingly well." Tsuna went back to the dress, lighting up flames and freezing his chest over into boobs to fill out the top part of the dress.

"Okay." He turns back to them. "We, in the future, won't remember this later so you people need to remember that the Varia have taken over the zoo as a base. The Arcobaleno, both types, are scattered from out last assault. We've got the other mafia bosses in lock down in their headquarters. The Vongola minions have been instructed to make a frontal assault on Vendicare while they're scattered so we can finally prove that Bermuda is obsessed because he has a life-sized Reborn pillow, and the Guardians are currently playing strip hide and seek." He takes a deep breath in and smirks mischievously, eyes narrowing. "Most of all, Tsunayoshi will be very confused when he wakes up." Tsuna disappears into smoke with an echoing "Kufufufu."

The shocked silences lasts only long enough for Mukuro, the younger, to dart away. He is then followed by a few rage filled people, but most just stand there and try to assimilate every other piece of information they were given.

* * *

Omake:

Tsuna feels squished and far too warm to be comfortable. His clothes were too tight and there was a strange weight on his chest. A band across his waist tightens, dragging him backwards into a warm body.

This is around the time Tsuna's conscious mind actually kicks in. He opens his eyes to see a very naked chest and tilts his head up to see a sleeping silver haired man. Embarrassingly, it takes a few seconds to realised who this person was, and when he does, he's simply confused as to why Hayato is in his bed, half-naked.

Then he remembers the other person. A sight roll to the side and he glances over his shoulder, looking into Colonello's awake but dazed expression. It takes momentous effort to haul himself up to a sitting position, and he takes in the utter destruction of the room.

No piece of furniture is kept standing upright, either mashed or embedded into walls. Hibari was flopped over Reborn, his hands wrapped around the hitman's neck in a strangling position. Tsuna vaguely remembers something about Hibird, Leon and fighting to the death.

Ryohei was locked in a dog cage and was snoring away, content. Byakuran was lounging in what appeared to be a nest of clothes. No one else was present but a trail of destruction led out through the door (and through a small hole in the wall).

Tsuna looks down at himself and blinks in confusion at ice-cleavage, and then at the fact that he was in a really long, white dress. The bed shifts and creaks as Colonello sits up behind him.

"What the fuck happened to us?"

* * *

A/N: I think it was more like a roofie than plain alcohol, because I _wrote_ this and even I have no idea what's going on.


	8. OC is not okay with this shit

Title: OC is not okay with this shit

Summary: It would be entirely correct to state that he wasn't, isn't and never will be afraid of death. So when someone holds a gun to his head, it's hardly going to shut him up. Besides, he's having a bad day.

Warning: OC, innuendos, and lots of swears.

* * *

Akira sighed as his friend sent him yet another picture of his namesake being sexually harassed by fictional characters. He rolled over on to his back and pulled the quilt higher around his neck to ward out the chill.

_[Its 7 you fuck]_ Immediately after it sends, he gets a reply.

_[7.26] _

_[Eat shit and die] _

_[No, im good]_ His phone beeps again. _[Just wanted to wish you a good morning (togainu-no-chi shiki-route-3974 . jpg)]_ Akira flinches and quickly deletes the picture.

_[I though we said no dick pics]_

_[You said that. Don't be a homophobe]_

_[Come to Namimori, ill rip your throat out]_

_[School time. Bye]_

Akira sighs and drops his phone onto the carpeted floor. He focuses on the shuffling downstairs, trying to pick out if his parents were still home. The TV was on a kid's channel so he ticked off Kessin. His older brother had a guilty pleasure for children shows, but he wouldn't watch them when anybody was home so Akira's parents must be gone already.

He blindly gropes for his phone again and checks the time. "Seven thirty, bro!" Akira yells through the closed door. A curse echoes his warning and after a few thumps and lots of stomping, the front door slammed.

Akira glances at the time once more before deciding that it was far too early and that he would rest his eyes for a bit and then get up. He drifted back to sleep.

* * *

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck he was late. Akira skidded around the kitchen table, snatching up his lunch and throwing it at his bag in the doorway. It didn't go in. He snatched up the keys and darted to the pile of shoes. He found his school ones and shoved his feet in as he packed up the hazardous pile of books that littered the floor around his bag.

He got three steps before the weird feeling of his shoes made him stop and look down. He cursed, toed them off and tried again. Finally, with shoes on the correct feet, he sprinted outside and made his way to Namimori high. At least it was Friday.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Her voice was soft and musical, even as it wavered in hesitance. "I just don't think we're compatible in a romantic sense." Her blue eyes gazed up at him from a heart shaped face. Karin had always been sweet. It was one of her many good traits.

"It's fine." Akira smiled softly. "We had a good run, didn't we?" Karin still looked apologetic. Time to bring out the big guns. "If it were anyone other than Kayo I would be concerned, but I know you'll treat each other well."

"You know-?" Karin cut herself off, looking like she was swallowing her curiosity. Instead, she grinned and stepped towards him for a hug. He forced his arms to wrap around her. "Thank you." She stepped back. "I hope we can still be friends, though. I would hate to lose that."

Akira pulled on a smirk. "I'd miss you if we weren't." A gust of wind picked up the dead leaves and threw them around. Karin shivered, holding down her skirt against the wind. The shade from her house wasn't helping.

"It's cold." Karin points out, watching Akira stifle a shudder. "Why don't you have a jumper on?"

I make bad choices.

I like to live on the edge.

Thug life chose me.

"I'm not that cold." Akira chooses option #4, waving it off. Besides, Karin didn't take to sarcasm well, she simply never understood why people would speak like that when they could say it clearly.

"Karin." Both of them turned to Kayo who was leaning against the wall, having just turned the corner. "You ready? The reservation is pretty strict."

Karin grins and turns to Akira. "I'll see you at school on Monday?" He can only nod, the accusation on the tip of his tongue, unable to pretend to himself anymore. It was too much this time.

Didn't even tell him we dating, did you? Didn't even care to wait. Actually called me over to say you were dumping me, while you were getting ready for a date. I had to hear about your cheating from Mochida.

You're a sweet girl, Karin - but you can be the dumbest piece of shit sometimes.

Akira simply let go. It was the easiest thing to do. Besides, she had made up mind and nothing he could do (at present) would make her reconsider. It would be best to go home and spend the rest of his weekend in lazy bliss.

He would need to figure out if he wanted to fight for her. They were only seventeen, and he had all the time in the world to find a proper partner, but to lose to Kayo?

Akira passes the peroxide blonde male and a hand brushes his, pinching. He turns the corner, using the twist to glance at Kayo subtly, only to find him staring back over Karin's shoulder as they hug.

Akira walks away.

* * *

A small rock flew and landed with a clatter, skidding across the concrete and falling to the grassy side. Akira caught up and nudged it back onto the path, lining up for another kick.

"Herbivore." Akira jolted and spun around, blinking at Hibari. "It's annoying. Stop." He didn't have his tonfa out and looked somewhat less intimidating in casual clothes. Akira twitched when noticed that they were both wearing black jeans and plain dark green t-shirts. An unfortunate coincidence.

"My apologies." Akira spun around and continued walking. He hated saying sorry or thank you but he had manners. He wasn't going to continue when someone politely asked him to stop. Or, at least a Hibari version of polite. (And then there was the threat of being 'bitten to death'.)

As he continued down the street he listened for footsteps, but either Hibari was in time with him (which he couldn't be, Akira varied his steps) or he didn't make any noise. Akira glanced into a parked car's mirror and choked on an inhale when he spotted Hibari ambling along a few step behind. It took everything not to shriek because Hibari was _so fucking close_ – when did that happen?

Akira immediately slowed even more but Hibari didn't take him over, so he pretended that something was in his shoe. He stepped off the path and leaned against a pole, slipping off his shoe and shaking it like he was getting a pebble out. Akira kept his head down as he glanced up through his fringe. Hibari was actually standing there, hands in pockets and waiting. Akira slipped on his shoe and prepared to run.

"Can I ask you something?" He ploughed over Hibari, not acknowledging the prefect opening his mouth. "I can't see any reason for you to be stalking me. If you aren't, say so now before I get even more paranoid, because I've been having a bad day and my issues tend to come across stronger..."

Hibari smirked and cocked his head to the side. Oh fuck, he was actually stalking Akira. "I'm bored."

"That's unfortunate, but not my problem." Akira managed a smile just a bit too wooden. "Nice meeting you. I'm going that way." He gestured vaguely across the street. "Don't follow." Akira, probably doing the stupidest he could at that moment, turned his back on the prefect.

"Hibari-san!" A voice called out in a panic, and shoes were hitting the tarmac in a run. Akira didn't bother to look, quickly making his way to the other path. He was not going to get involved with the dangerous kind of trouble that Hibari collects like stamps.

"Watch out!" Another voice cried out, deeper than the first. "Akira, move!" A large shadow fell over him and it took a split second decision to agree that they weren't messing with him. He dived to the side and rolled, even as whatever that was slammed into the ground where he use to be, denting and forming cracks in the shape of a crater.

"What the fuck?" He blurts out, staring wide-eyed at a robot as he straightened up. It beeps lightly, and the green light of its optics flickered out. No wonder it died; the circuitry had been ripped out, and Akira could see the road through its chest.

"Are you okay?" A hand landed on his shoulder. Akira blinked and turned to the teen.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi?" He ignored the stuttered reply ("Sorry. Really, really, very sorry.") and took in the odd scene. A year younger than him, Yamamoto the baseball star was engaged in a screaming match with Gokudera the supposed 'genius delinquent'. Hibari hadn't moved, still watching creepily.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry about the whole ... robot almost crushing you thing." Sawada trailed off hesitantly, looking like he was stifling a cringe.

"Yeah, no worries." Akira decide that while he did want to examine the robot just because it seemed interesting, he didn't want to spend time in this group's company. They might be good people, he honestly doesn't care, but his family would kill him if he got injured. "I'm off then. Have a good day." Akira turned away (for the last time, he promised himself) and made his way home.

"Sorry!" Sawada called. Akira waved without looking. Best not to get involved.

"Baby." Demands Hibari and that made Akira twitch because _what the hell, was he addressing me?_ Suddenly he's jerking backwards, away from a suited baby that land in front of him with a mother fucking bazooka steadied on his tiny shoulder.

"Woah, now." Akira tenses. "Okay, who does that thing belong to?" He gestures at the whole picture, not sure if he was referring to the kid or the weapon. The baby almost growls but its expression blanks before it makes a sound, which was disturbing.

"My apologies." It didn't sound at all sorry, but Akira would forgive it for that vocabulary. "But I promised Hibari Kyouya a fight." Then next thing Akira registers is falling à la Alice in Wonderland, and another person flying past.

_POOF!_

Akira stumbles forward, catching himself on a table before straightening.

"Akira." He whirls around and finds a gathering of businessmen sitting on couches. A suited man smiles, standing from his seat and approaching. "You were short when you were younger, huh?" He clamps a heavy hand on Akira's shoulder and guides him to one of the long couches.

He sits where he was guided, and after the stranger relaxes beside him, tries to shift away from the men on either side. They had their arms stretched across the back and -for lack of a better word- flopped over every available space like particularly territorial cats, all luxury and pride.

"I don't think we've met before." Akira speaks up when it clear no one else was going to. "What business are you in?" From his vantage point it was now obvious that there was a separation. From an invisible halfway line, the people on Akira's side were radiating smugness and a 'try me' smile. The one who was the most intolerable was the guy on Akira's left. He dubbed them Team Smug.

The other side held a tenseness to their shoulders and were metaphorically on the edge of their seats, ready to pounce. They shot sly glances to the brown haired man who seemed to be in control. Akira labelled them Team Tense.

Laughter follows his question and an arm from Team Smug's leader drops onto his shoulders, forcing him to lean back against the couch.

"We're in the business of having too much spare time." The red haired man on his right speaks up as he drops his arm from the couch, his hand is very deliberately placed on Akira's thigh. "Do you have any recommendations that would satisfy a couple of men?" He turns to Team Tense. "Maybe our friends as well, if they care to participate."

Did they just - what? Fuck no. No. That was a cheap shot. Akira acknowledged the use of cringe-worthy subjects to throw people off, but no. No with him.

"Well, I might have some idea." Their heads snap to Akira and he hesitates for a split second. His heart is thumping against his rib cage and the bulges of maybe weapons in their jackets tell him to stop being a moron, but he ploughs forward. "You can always go fuck yourself." They blink at him. "Or you could call up your mother and-"

"Shut up, Akira." Hisses a silver haired man from the other side.

"-I could fuck her while you watch. She's into that kinky shit, isn't she? I mean she was screaming pretty damn loud last time - huk!" A hand cuts off his airway and suddenly everyone had weapons and were on their feet. Even Akira was yanked up by the throat.

Well, it was crude and unrefined but at least something happened. Akira wasn't going to be forced to stay silent as he was clearly used to bargain. Honestly though, it took far longer to get a reaction than what he was expecting.

"My mother is dead, actually." Team Smug's leader keeps his cool, pressing the barrel harder against Akira's temple.

He sucked in a gasp when the fingers loosened. "Then who was screaming?" His airway was promptly closed again.

"Shut the fuck up, Akira!" Snaps the same silver haired man who was now holding dynamite. A purple haired man from Team Tense smiles in encouragement.

"I've had a bad day!" Akira wheezes, glaring at the man who looked oddly familiar. Especially those dynamite. Oh, what the hell, might as well act insane. "Gokudera?" The brunet, Team Tense's leader, grimaces but tightens his fists. That was an odd reaction. "Who the fuck was that god damned baby? I'll punt it to Kokuyo, the little shit." A fedora wearing man in the back smirks.

"Akira, please." The brunet says, keeping an eye on the man holding Akira.

"No." Akira's voice came out offended and maybe a little too high pitched for calm. He immediately rectified that and was glad that he sounded angry for the next part. "I was dumped for Kayo. The disciplinary chairman stalked me. There was a robot. Then this asswipe touched me - _is still touching me_. I will be kneeing people balls-" Akira glances at the blond in a pencil skirt holding a gun pointed at Team Tense. "-and vagina if everyone isn't on their knees and apologising in five seconds."

The man holding him snickers like Akira was joking.

"One."

The brown haired man winces and rocks back on his feet, but looked reassured for some reason. The others on Team Tense were hiding smiles -masochists?- and everyone else just looked offended.

"Five."

The pen that slid into hand when everyone was distracted quickly made an entrance by stabbing down into the man's inner thigh. He screams and takes his hands off Akira, who makes good on his promise and knees the man in between the legs, sending him sprawling. Team Tense lurches forward, knocking the weapons away from Team Smug.

"Well, it's not like we were going to be allies anyway. Good work." The brunet pats Akira on the head, which gets a glare.

"I said _everyone_ on their knees." That gets a reaction.

The fedora guy flashes forward, and before Akira can do more than flinch, has the teen flopped over his shoulder.

"Son of a - you let me go right now." Akira drives an elbow into the man's back, which only gets a chuckle and hurts his elbow. "What are you made out of? Pure Arrogance?"

"Stronger stuff than you, that's for sure." Retorts the tall man, jerking his shoulder up so it slams into Akira's abdomen and forces the air out of his lungs. He slumps and groans, waiting for his chance to smash the asshole's nose with his knee. It wouldn't take too much, just a small crack in his guard.

"Reborn, let him down." The brunet was smiling as he said it. "It's almost ten minutes." Reborn huffs and relaxes his arms.

Akira strikes.

There's a crunch a split second before the Doctor Who tunnel returns and that same figure is rushing past again. Akira loves being underestimated, because frankly, he probably would have died otherwise.

Akira wobbles when he lands, frowning at the cratered road and the other teens that were on fire.

Yeah, never getting involved with these guys.

* * *

(Omake: Of course Akira gets shot again, and of course this story turns into slash.)

"I join the mafia?" Akira mused, his voice not giving anything away. "What are you holding over my head?" His smile is full of teeth, tearing into the weakest point. "Is it; blunt, rusted? Or maybe so sharp I won't feel it cut straight through."

Tsuna doesn't answer at first, but he can't hide the flinch. "I'm not forcing you into anything."

"Oh, that's a lie if I ever saw one." Akira drawls.

"Stop making stupid guesses." Gokudera snaps, taking half a step forward. "You don't know the situation."

"I know that he died." The harsh pause was answer enough. "So someone did die?" Akira's grin splits his face. Tsuna looks away.

"Kessin." He tries, sounding childish in his amusement. "No - how about my dad? Or perhaps someone I haven't met yet." No reaction. "You can't remember…" Akira considers this factor. "Someone you knew ten years ago and I got close to." The last got a reaction. "One of your little cohort."

Tsuna's eyes slide to left and Akira made his way over to the pictures on the desk. He snatches one up, and stops dead at the image, his face blanking. An older version of him - longer hair folded into a lose bun against his left shoulder and dressed the same as the other occupant of the picture. The board-shorts hung low on both of their hips, and because it was the only thing they were wearing, Akira could see the rippling muscles.

He took a moment to admire how handsome he was, before focusing on the arm that was thrown around his future self's waist. They leaned against each other casually and the man's hand was curled around Akira's hip, fingers dipping into the waist band to press against skin. Their expressions were of happy bliss even though neither of them was outright smiling. Akira couldn't quite make out the other's face because of the sun's glare that cut off everything from the nose up, but it's not like he cared.

"This is disgusting."

The epilepsy tunnel is a relief.

* * *

A/N: Never understood why people would do an SI OC, but that's probably because if I was ever in these kinds of situations, I would curl up into foetal position and cry. (Seriously though, all of those 'I saw my birth' startings make me pissed because of the sheer stupidity. Babies aren't that developed – do some research.) So, I compromised and simply made an OC story.

Never doing this again.

Okay, that's a lie. Maybe. I do prefer this over OCs taking over characters, though. If only authors would stop following the plot so closely and stealing dialogue from other characters.

Anyway, I almost killed off Akira seven times now. He just won't shut up, I swear: the entire time I was writing this I kept repeating 'he has to survive', so if the reactions are a bit off, blame Akira.


	9. Flame Source

Title: Flame source

Summary: There's a God of Fire inside Tsuna, and he just wants everything to burn.

Background: Disregard everything about flame origins, but everything else happened like cannon – if not slightly more violent during the battles.

* * *

There is a place inside of Tsuna that he falls into sometimes.

It's when he can't handle it anymore and his mind just shuts down. He tumbles and dives - and is occasionally dragged - into this place. It's not a new development but sometimes this place and the concept of having it overwhelms him.

It's not a nice place.

Don't misunderstand, though - it feels comforting and safe like nothing can hurt him. This place is warm without being hot and all-encompassing without being oppressive. It's a fine line between those, Tsuna realises, because the mafia was on the other end of the spectrum. It's just that… it isn't nice to people other than Tsuna.

It grows bigger every time Tsuna falls.

He wraps himself in it sometimes; like when that man asked Tsuna to help find his dog. It helps him, no matter the situation – and no matter the cost paid by unsuspecting triggers. It squirms just a bit deeper into Tsuna's conscious every time he wakes up after. When he was a kid it was barely noticeable, but now it hovers and beckons.

Tsuna is scared.

Because maybe, one day, he'll fall and keep on falling. That there won't be an end and he won't wake up. Tsuna _needs_ to wake up, because when he's asleep the place does things that leaves rust coloured stains and black scorch marks.

He doesn't remember much of the future, but Byakuran won't look him in the eye any more.

That it's _Byakuran_ who's wary, more than anything, is a sign something is wrong. Tsuna is only glad that it wasn't outright fear teasing at the edges of the man's expression, but that could change any time. He has memories of fighting and his friends but it trails off into blanks when he tries to remember leaving the Choice arena.

His friends don't know either.

They say he vanished and Byakuran chased him. Gokudera apologises for not finding a trail, and Ryohei praises him for moving so (Extremely!) fast, while Yamamoto laughs and says he showed up two days later and Byakuran was never found. Reborn gives him unnoticeable looks that the thing inside him hums at.

Reborn used to be a trigger.

Less so now that Tsuna has moved to Italy. Before, it took everything he had to keep stable footing in front of his mother. He slipped up a few times -Mukuro, Xanxus, Daemon, Bermuda- but managed to wrestle back control so there wasn't too much damage. Now, the thing inside doesn't register the hitman as anything more than amusing, which Tsuna supposes he should be grateful for. The place was being very tame compared to before; it didn't take over as quickly or as often. It almost seems to let Tsuna take the lead.

However, it was growing restless.

It started hooking tendrils around Tsuna not more than a week back. It would pull sometimes, just teasing little tugs that sent his vision black and made his steps falter, but it didn't pull him down. Unfortunately, the timing couldn't be worse; a Chinese mafia were taking liberties with Vongola-run operations.

They called themselves Hui Lu and it made the place churn and flare.

Tsuna's smile was growing harder to fake the longer they spent blatantly mocking him. His friends ("Guardians, Dame-Tsuna. Guardians and allies.") must have picked up on it because they were being more confrontational than they usually are, which was going to end well for no one.

Tsuna just needed to stay calm, _and everything will be fine-_

A harsh yank made Tsuna wince and sent Gokudera into a fit. "Wait, no!" Tsuna cried, holding out a hand to make Gokudera put down a chair that he was about to throw at the Hui Lu diplomat. "I'm fine, just a headache."

Reborn was glaring a hole into the back of his head from wherever the hitman was hiding. Tsuna could not possible care any less about what Reborn considered a weakness. Gokudera needed to be calmed and he won't even mention the growling thing inside of him. At least Mukuro and Chrome were enjoying this, hiding smiles behind cups of water.

"Perhaps you should go rest, Vongola Decimo." The man smiles like Tsuna was just a formality and he already had everything sorted out. "Hui Lu will oversee the weapon exports. All you have to do is sign the contract." Tsuna manages to stifle a shudder, ignoring the rage from that place when it heard the name.

Reborn told him the reference and Tsuna thought it maybe a little too arrogant. Hui Lu was a God of Fire and a magician in mythology. He carried around a gourd full of one hundred fire birds that was said to burn an entire continent if they were ever let free.

Then again, Tsuna ran an organisation called clam, and the world strongest seven called themselves rainbow. They had no room to talk.

"Thank you, but no. I'd prefer to get this sorted out." Tsuna waves it off and accepts the stack of papers from Mikaela, one of people in the legal department – poor lady got the short straw. He flips through the contract once again, eyes skimming across bright red annotations that covered all available space. "We're almost finished, and the sooner we get this done, the sooner my legal team can draw this up." The five members of Hui Lu look annoyed from across the table.

Tsuna hides a smile, passing the papers back to Mikaela. It really was mean to do this, but he had free time and the look on their boss's face when he read it will be so entertaining. Re-working it so the main theme of 'Hui Lu gets all the profit and deals while Vongola passes all resources over and doesn't stick their nose in' was completely changed to 'Hui Lu can find their own business deals, like grown adults, but Vongola would be happy to help their Kouhai for a reasonable sum'.

It had been passed back and forth, and while the wording would change, neither of them were giving concessions. The best part, by far, was that each of them knew exactly what they were doing. It was literally the most childish thing Tsuna had ever done.

Reborn disapproved.

Tsuna didn't care.

The place inside of him twisted and shuddered in amusement, urging him to mock, to insult, to _burnandburnandburn- _Tsuna took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So, you get use of forklift-15D on Tuesdays and Sundays, but only every other week, because then you get it on Mondays and Wednesday afternoons."

Mukuro was dying if his coughing fit was any indication. Chrome was politely smiling with glazed over eyes and Gokudera had his head down and was wheezing strangely. Mikaela just bent over the papers even further, admirably keeping her professionalism.

"Decimo, really." One of the Hui Lu men spoke up, looking like he wanted to walk out. A sudden ringing cut him off and the leader fished out his phone, took one look at the caller ID and excused himself.

They turned back to the contract and waffled about with fanciful words, throwing backhanded compliments like it was an Olympic sport. Mukuro was thriving and Gokudera gave as good as he got. Tsuna leaned back in his chair and watched with Chrome.

The mockery of a professional discussion ended when the leader came back, his phone still in his hand. "Sorry, but Liu Fei doesn't want to waste any more time." The other four Hui Lu stand.

"But this was so productive." Tsuna says with a smile. In an instant the leader smashes his phone onto the table and a cloud of white gas gushes out and spreads to cover the room in seconds. Tsuna lurches to his feet and presses his collar to his face to not inhale too much of the gas.

He can see, vaguely, his three guardians jerking up and charging the Hui Lu. Reborn is beside him in a split second, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him backwards to the just opened window. Tsuna flails a bit but manages to find Mikaela's arm and drags her with them. In between one second and the next, Reborn is leaving him to jump into the fray and he's helping Mikaela out of the window to the balcony below.

"Get inside and stay there. I'll come find you when it's over." He tells Mikaela. The crashes and thumps picks up sound and speed, indicating that backup had arrived. He ducks back in, takes one step and a skull-jarring hit makes him black out.

* * *

"Wakey, wakey." Tsuna rolled away from the noise and immediately after, as it registers, his eyes snapped open. A large grin covered his vision, pulling away to reveal a black haired man in a dark grey suit. Tsuna blinked and jerked up, just noticing the cuffs tying his hands behind him and his ankles together.

He hunches over, groaning when the sudden movement makes his head throb, and more than that, the thing inside him bends and bubbles. "Couldn't have just asked?" His rhetorical question gets a chuckle.

"Well, I had an in, so why wouldn't I use her?" Liu Fei shrugs casually. Tsuna's head snaps up and spies Mikaela in the corner. Another groan escapes him, echoed by a low growl in the back of his mind.

"Of course it had to be the sane one." Tsuna complains. "Because anyone else around me would laugh in your face and outline their own plan for my death." He slumped back down onto the white chaise lounge. (And wow was the furniture uncomfortable.)

"I can't deny that." Liu Fei pats him on the head. "Now, welcome to my famiglia, Hui Lu." The thing jerks on Tsuna's ribcage, making his back arch. "I am Liu Fei, the Fire God reborn into a modern world." It howls in rage and a cord wraps harshly around Tsuna ankle, dragging him into suffocating waters. "You really are fun to have around, so don't think this is personal." Tsuna's head slips under but his hands grab onto reality with a dying man's desperation. "Now, I would stay but I do have things to be doing. Chan Ming will take over for me."

Liu Fei pulls back and gestures for another man with dyed silver hair, before walking out with a strut to his step. Chan Ming smiles wickedly and steps closer. "It's simply because you are in our way, so we must burn you-"

A hand snaps out and wraps around Chan Ming's neck, digging in nails until the useless human can't breathe. What a pathetic sight. If you hope to command Hui Lu and everything he stands for, you must be stronger, faster, and far more…durable.

Tsuna brings the man closer and tilts his head, observing the hand that gropes for a sword, and the other that tries to pry his hand off Chan Ming's neck. The humans around are making loud noises and are running closer, unwilling to use their black weapons with their compatriot so close.

Tsuna opens his mouth to speak.

* * *

Chan Ming knew he was going to die. It was with an utter certainty and acceptance of said fact that let him stare into the Decimo's eyes. Or maybe it was because of the eyes. Sure, he still tried to get away, but that urge was simply instinct and muscle memory.

Because he was already dead.

Decimo grinned, wild and free and oh so beautiful. A white hot tongue of fire flickered out and coyly traced his lips before darting back in. His hair was liquid amber and his eyes molten gold. Chan Ming felt his neck warm under the man's hand and tried to gulp down saliva through the constriction.

Blue flames flared up from the Decimo's heart, gliding along his suit and burning away the finest material, revealing glowing white skin underneath. Chan Ming felt his palm hit the hilt of his sword and it was habit to pull on it. It scraped out of the scabbard and when he blinked it was already pushing into the Decimo's skin.

The metal wavered and shuddered under the pressure of meeting such a man, and Chan Ming wasn't surprised when it bowed at the man's feet, dripping molten graphene on to floor in deference. The lightning flames that shot down the swords length wouldn't do anything, not that Chan MIng wanted it to. Either way, the current of jagged green met an invisible barrier and disappeared.

There was no way he would come out of this still breathing. He's going to die, is dying, and was already dead. Case closed, no post script. At least he was leaving with the image of a God encased in fire seared into his thoughts. Unfortunately, the voice of a demon lasted a lot longer.

* * *

Ashes floated gently to the ground, decorating the floor in colourless beauty, swirling in the lightest of air currents. Tsuna let them land on his still outstretched hand, contemplating how beautiful ugly things can be after the cleansing of fire.

A chocked sob comes from the quiet room and Tsuna drops his hand, turning gracefully to face a female in the corner. She was trying to push through the wall with will power alone, hand covering her mouth and tears making her cheeks glisten in the light of undulating fires.

DON'T BE SCARED, HUMAN.

A guttural, overlapping of screams exploded from Tsuna's lips. It was all pain and all death mixed into the scrapping and grinding of two trains meeting at full speed. She screamed and covered her ears, blood slipping between her fingers. The human fell to her knees and Tsuna frowned at the dramatics.

IT WILL HURT, BUT ONLY FOR A MOMENT.

The human convulsed and stilled, her eyes still crying but her face slack. Tsuna frowned harder. That was a little bit over the top, wasn't it? He hadn't done anything… oh, right. Tsuna smiled, happy that he had figured it out.

I FORGOT how pitifully weak you all are." The feral snarling that called to something deep inside twisted to a low growl and faded into normal speech. Tsuna glided over to her, swerving around gluttonous fires blazing on top of human skin. Ashes danced around him, resting on his glowing skin before dissolving into nothingness. His black suit had crumpled in the face of his awakening, tatters hanging onto his chest and arms. He pulled them off as he walked, and liquefied his shoes until he was barefoot.

The human twitched when he stopped at her form. He held his hand palm-down above her and let white hot lava dribble onto her head. She convulsed and was still. He smiled at the playful liquid that quickly ate up the body.

He missed this. His powers were so restricted when he slept; it was always soft and warm, never alive. Tsuna twisted to look over his shoulder, glad to see that the flames were exploring in their usual child-like curiosity. They would flicker ever so hesitantly before leaping and tumbling forward with an excited, unstoppable momentum.

The floor under his feet started getting too soft so he made his way to the door, leaving glowing red puddles of concrete where he stepped. He stopped at the door and nodded in thanks when a little flame opened it for him.

Tsuna made his way through the mansion, leaving a path of bright and wild life behind him. He closed his eyes as he walked, letting the fires joyfully recount meeting other humans on their exploration, and about how they tasted sweet.

"Tsuna!"

A voice called out to him and a herd of human stampeded in his direction. He glanced down a hallway and found the caller running with a few other humans behind him. Tsuna frowned when the flames catch sight of another.

"Tsuna, what happened?" The tall, black haired one askes. He swings his sword up and glances around in caution but keeps his focus on Tsuna. "Why are you only wearing pants?"

"Why are you glowing?" Questions the one with a hat, a green gun resting comfortably in his palm. Tsuna isn't listening, too focused on the flame calling out the location. He takes off in a dead sprint, leaving the human to blink at an afterimage of flickering fire and try to catch up.

He skids around the corner, his feet splashing up boiling concrete against the wall. The human was in his sight now, trapped in a gradient of blue. He makes active effort in cooling himself down before stepping through the ring of fire and smiling at the enraged man.

"Decimo, what brings you here?" Liu Fei smiles crookedly, spreading his arms and gesturing to the ring of blue fire. "Come to enjoy the scenery? Isn't it beautiful?"

Tsuna really is sorry that the man was so intolerable, because they would have been good friends otherwise. Unfortunately, the human though he could command fire, and that would not do.

"Do not tempt me, human. I am already angered at your treatment of my Little Flame." Tsuna stepped closer, cold enough to not burn, but still uncomfortable to Liu Fei.

"Human? So you think yourself above me?" The grin is manic. "How about you come down here with the little people and I'll show you _my_ flames this time?" Tsuna scoffs, circling the man and trailing a hand through the wall of flame.

"You think you have fire?" Tsuna muttered before raising his voice in question. "How, exactly, do you think this is going to end? You didn't even try to run." Tsuna cocks his head to the side. "Honestly though, do you think I will be satisfied with only taking apart this building and its inhabitants, but not you?"

Liu Fei shrugs, uncaring. His rings lights up with Sky flames, a dark orange that travels to his elbow before stopping. He casually rolls up his sleeve, revealing the shine of sliver metal that is his arm. In an instant it shifts and clicks, whirring into a cannon like form and belting out successive globules of plasma.

Tsuna jerks in shock, blinking down at the blobs that cling to his torso. They fizzle out momentarily and Liu Fei looks hesitant for the first time Tsuna has known him. "That was rude. Perhaps I should take your life as forfeit?" Tsuna gives him a smile, his body heating up to a glow slowly.

"Decimo," Liu Fei begins. "It really wasn't personal. My family – you have to understand, my family believes everything is a do-or-die scenario." He offers up, blinking away sweat from the too hot temperatures. The circle of flames close up, teasingly caressing the human but backing off before catching on to his clothes. Tsuna is disappointed that he gave up instead of fighting, but oh well.

"I will kill you." Tsuna states with a nod to himself, before addressing the man. "Do not think I will be so lenient if you dare again."

"What- lenient? You just said you were going to kill me!" Liu Fei snarls like a trapped beast. The ring's light was still going strong and he raises his arm-cannon again. Tsuna takes great pleasure in melting it before the man's very eyes.

"Yes, it is. Yes, I am." Tsuna answers back in a sing-song voice before becoming serious. "Do you expect for me to simply back down when you bare your neck to me in a facade of submission? You, who does not even know what he is up against?" Tsuna offers up a grin with more teeth than necessary.

Liu Fei scowls and shift on his feet, desperate to find a way out but not able to.

"You are much like Icarus; ignorant." Tsuna says it like it's a fact. "Believing you are in control. That you can stop me if I 'go too far'. Be careful, for if this happens again, I will burn much more than your wings of arrogance." Tsuna rocks back on his heels and the flames sway with him. Liu Fei doesn't notice that his shirt has caught on fire, but Tsuna sees the bright blue tower above the man. "For I am Ra, and you are but a common sparrow." The wave crashes down upon the human's head and Tsuna is already walking away when the screaming begins.

* * *

A/N: On the mythology - the sites I looked at were confusing names and didn't have enough information, so I just went with Hui Lu. Also, no one else sounded awesome enough.

If anyone knows the full myth, I'd love to hear it.

(Got into a fight with a teacher, so this felt very good.)


	10. Do You See Fire?

Title: Do you see fire?

Summary: The True Humans arrive on earth, bringing with them an armada and all the powers of the rings tenfold. It seems hopeless, stupid even, to fight such beings. (No one ever accused Tsuna of being intelligent.)

* * *

The tension was a physical presence. It pushed and pressed, surrounding the occupants of the large meeting room, making every motion and shift in expression a grand gesture.

Vongola, always the centre of any trouble since the Decimo stepped up to the helm, and their allies were gathered in an almost protective huddle on one side, the long oak table an invisible line they were hesitant to cross.

The wariness was blatant when you stepped back and saw the uneven spacing. Three entities facing off against more than thirty adults who seemed more like a group than ever.

That factor, the assumption of being a group, pissed them off more than anything. Vongola, Millefiori, Shimon, Arcobaleno, Varia. They were fine with being labelled as part of an organisation, but they were _individuals_ – stronger apart than when they bothered to work together.

It was shameful, Byakuran's pride hissed to him. Mukuro tried for an unnerving smirk but it was wooden and unnatural on his face, disappearing entirely when the three beings opposite showed no sign of even noticing. Reborn didn't shift a muscle from his position leaning against the wall closest to the strangers – a first line of defence.

They held themselves with dignity, the three presences, even when dressed so pretentiously in pure white robes and more jewellery than what was logical or comfortable. Two men and one woman had shown up not an hour before, slipping into existence during an 'annual meeting' that was a half-hearted cover for Enma's twenty-first birthday.

Poor Enma, Tsuna thinks, glancing to his friend on the edge of Dying Will Mode. He flickered a look around the room to observe the tense figures taking in the offer from the three strangers.

Hayato ran his tongue along his teeth, willing to snap a retort back at the ridiculous offer, but unwilling to start hostilities with…True Humans. Fon breathed calmly, when inwardly his body was coiled tight in preparation to defend his friends from Kawahira's kin. Squalo tilts his head, habit ingrained from years in Xanxus' service, but no glass bottle was hurled past him at the intruders. It spoke volumes of how seriously Xanxus was taking the threat.

"It's pointless to fight back." The room flinches backwards at the broken silence. Reina, the woman who seemed to be the leader, spoke up again. "We are the true rulers, so we _will_ take our rightful place at the top of this world. It isn't failure for you to step down and hand over your rings – simply correcting nature."

There is no sign Kyouya even registered the words, his eyes glazed over from too much rage and his body still from how tensed he was. The second he snapped back to reality, he would shoot forwards, aiming straight for the jugular.

"You don't honestly expect us to roll over just because you asked us to," Dino rejects in a soft voice from where he was standing in front of Romario protectively. "Where is Kawahira? We want to talk to him."

"You have no say, creature." One of the men, Himura, dismisses Dino casually. "We are speaking to the ones who have greedily stolen our comrades' power and distorted it into this travesty." Himura gestures at Tsuna specifically like he was simply claiming a fact, and responding growls come from a few different points in the room.

"I'd appreciate it if you at least pretended to be mature," Tsuna says in the same matter-of-fact tone as Himura did. "No need to go out of your way to prove my first impression correct."

Reina takes a step forward in an unmistakeable threat as Himura and the other one, Markus, tuck their hands behind their backs, reaching for unidentified weapons.

The allied half of the room shift to compensate – the faster ones leaning forward and the longer range people shifting back. The tension was deafening but Tsuna abruptly starts chuckling, throwing everyone off.

"My apologies," Tsuna offers half-heartedly with a cheeky grin. "I don't know what came over me." The good humour slid off his frame in increments -first it was the eyes that were left cold, and then the smile that left his face blank, before finally his entire frame adjusts like the amusement had been weighing him down- leaving the Decimo of the largest powerhouse in the underworld. "It must be because a couple of condescending strangers waltzed into my home and expected to take over the world because they _demanded it_."

Tsuna continued, steamrolling the protest from Himura and the wordless hiss from Markus. "It's almost like you think a few insults would work instead of an army." He gestures at the large platform-esque ship, only a distant shadow in space. "And when you claim an army, you conveniently forget that humans out number you nineteen to one – and that's not including everyone in this room, who are more than an even match for your flames."

"You think you stand a chance-!" Reina spits out in rage.

Tsuna waves her off. "Sure, you flaunt your powers of instant divination and parallel world hopping, but then you come crawling to us and beg for our rings."

Markus splutters in outrage, drowned out by the laughter coming from Tsuna's friends.

"I'm getting mixed signals here-"

"Japan," Reina interrupts. "Namimori." The tension is back now, stronger than ever for Tsuna. "In a quaint little house with a 'Sawada' name plate…" Reina smiles when it's clear she has the upper hand. "Nana Sawada is a lovely woman and very easy to reach through flames."

"Don't you dare try," Tsuna breathes out, suddenly a lot less confident in the power his friends weild, and a lot more aware of his meagre twenty years.

"We know everything," Himura says with a supressed flourish as if he was trying to control himself from laughing outright. "Every reaction, every choice, every weakness. It really is that simple. You shocked us at first when you picked the stupidest route offered to you but we now know every choice that could spawn from here."

Tsuna's mind is already running across all of the plans and methods for combating a threat and comes up with nothing that would win against their power. He had been thinking that their power was something along the lines of Byakuran's search limitation where he needed time and Yuni's control limitation where she could only see one possible future. From the reactions of his friends, their assumption had been the same.

Think, Tsuna. He berates himself for that display of anger earlier, but he was hardly going to say nothing when they insulted Dino like that. He sees the three close their eyes for the briefest second and when they open them, it's a muted confusion that leaks through. Tsuna is left with a moment to contemplate it before his vision is covered in strange coloured smoke.

* * *

"Broke the bazooka, again," the man says not at all apologetically. His outrageously fluffy hair covers his eyes partway and his clothes look like he was just lounging around the house; with a plain T-shirt, jeans that dragged on the floor and cat-print socks. He stretches his arms over his head and lets out a jaw breaking yawn before he strolled forwards to the table that split the room. His half of the room was too thrown off to advance with him.

"The ten year bazooka," Reina says quietly, watching the man closely as he pulls out a chair and folds his tall body into it cross-legged.

"Yep." Tsunayoshi tilts his head to the side, the mop of hair flopping to one side with the motion. "You are…" His face scrunches lightly with confusion which immediately relaxes the humans in the room.

Kikyo had already been thinking about the presence of resistance fighters in the future.

"We are True Humans," Himura declares.

"Oh." Tsuna slumps back into the chair. "I remember now. You suddenly disappeared after I came back… damn it," he sighs. "I have to get rid of you, don't I?"

"Your arrogance has only grown in ten years, hasn't it?" Himura sneers. "I suppose we let you live, then?"

Reina, unlike her partner, was concerned about the man's existence. The plan was to take the rings and erase all knowledge of flames, which meant users of flames as well. Not to mention the man wasn't faking his calm – they truly weren't considered a threat to him.

"Tell me," the brown haired man drawls.

Himura huffs at how Tsunayoshi blatantly ignores him.

"In the future… do you see fire?" Tsunayoshi asks slowly, orange hued eyes gazing through her.

_A blurred image of Tsunayoshi rises to his feet and makes his way around the table, the original still slumped calmly. Another Tsunayoshi emerges from the one sitting, stepping onto his chair –through the first- and onto the table. Yet another throws back the chair and launches himself forward._

Reina blinks and the present snaps back, only one Tsunayoshi left over. Markus shifts and narrows his eyes at what he viewed as dozens of threatening grins emerging from the room full of faded Tsunayoshis. Reina observed as Tsunayoshi focused on Markus, catching the minute flinch from her companion at the same time.

"_No matter," Himura waved his own question off. "Now, about your mother-" He chokes, staring wide-eyed at the human that was suddenly so close with a hand around his neck-_

She straightens and breaths deeply, struggling not to fall into a trance. It was a defence mechanism to automatically keep track of future event that might be a threat; like a flinch if something comes too close to your face. One future laid over the present is what she was used to. This many…was impossible – or at least highly improbable.

"_Hand over the rings and we won't-" Himura was falling to the floor, blood already gushing from the head wound, and that man was still sitting there, smiling-_

How was he able to have so many copies of himself? Reina blinks away yet another future and summons a hint of mist flames to fortify her mind and keep them away. These doppelgängers only show the most certain future. This man must be entirely focused on each and every action that Reina was seeing him do.

_The man was behind Markus, face blank as he slipped his hand out from Markus' back-_

Reina shook off the split second of trance. It was getting ridiculous now – how many Tsunayoshis were in the room?

_Blood splattered her face as Himura's throat was cut-_

_Their ship was falling out of the sky and that man stood there looking disappointed in them-_

_Lal wasn't breathing after Markus' attack and Tsunayoshi took a deep breath before he blurred with how fast-_

_A well placed kick to her knee took out her balance and all that he had to do was step down on her neck-_

_Markus screamed as the fire ate right through the lightning-hardened material-_

_Himura flew backwards, right through the window and into a pool of fire-_

_She scrambled back from the bright orange, pulsing so happily as it feasted on Himura's flesh-_

_Markus shrivelled and collapsed as his insides melted-_

_White hot fire slid down her throat- _

"Tell me," the man began calmly, still slumped in his chair, not having moved a muscle.

Reina snapped back to the present in an instant, hands flying up to her throat. Beside her, Markus and Himura were gasping for breath and running shaking hands over particularly painful memories of wounds.

"Do you see _fire_?"

_He was smiling as the fire played at his fingertips-_

* * *

A/N:

I can't stop writing about his over powered flames! It's getting ridiculous. And my Deus Ex Machina Tsunayoshi is just a lazy ending even if I don't mean it that way. Sigh. Back to fluff it is.


	11. Happy Birthday? (Squalo edition)

A/N

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The **Soul Mate **chapters have been made into a proper story.

It's called **Repeat**.

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* * *

Title: Happy Birthday? (Squalo edition)

Summary: That is not a mother fu*king sword, Xanxus!

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* * *

Even before the smoke clears, Squalo is already moving. He isn't surprised that his attackers are the other Varia members but the Vongola brats are new. None of this changes his intent.

His twist drops him low into a crouch to avoid the weapons and on the second complete revolution he moves up again, sword flickering in and out in a graceful weave.

They only see the glint of a silver sword against a blur of Varia uniform colours and white hair. The ones attacking leap back, startled from the sudden appearance of the younger Superbi Squalo.

The sword master comes to a halt, hair still whipping around him from the momentum and forming a lattice of white surrounding his body.

"Vooooiiiiii!" he roars, hair just beginning to settle as he slashes his sword about in threat. "You little punks-" His insult comes to an abrupt halt when he sees what his opponents are carrying.

Takeshi's eyes flicker from the deep cuts on some to Squalo's unbloodied sword and mentally notes that he has to learn that, even as he laughs lightly from where he's sitting back, tired from the last round. "Happy birthday, Squalo!" he cheers, echoed by some in varying levels of enthusiasm.

"What..."

"Well," Takeshi begins. "We decided to have a themed party and everyone learned swordsmanship! How cool is that?"

"Don't look at me, I did it for boss," Levi scoffs, tapping his cutlass against his shoulder.

Lussuria slashes with his rapier, the entire weapon bursting with sun flames. Bel laughs and caresses his sword, an identical copy of his usual knife. Hibari looks raring to do with his dual short swords, and even the Mini-Boss was toting a standard katana.

Squalo turns to Xanxus then and gapes at the figure across from him.

Xanxus stands there with a beast of a weapon resting on one shoulder. The pure black gleams under the training centre's lights, the entire thing probably taller than the man himself. Squalo watches, incredulous, as the handle starts glowing a dark orange, akin to Xanxus' normal flames. Squalo balks as the blade shifts into that same colour.

Abruptly, his vision is covered with smoke and he finds himself back at the Varia dining table with a cake in front of him, the candles still going. He ducks his head, white hair flowing into his vision to hide his expression from the rest.

"Why the hell do you look so stunned, trash?" Xanxus barks, flinging his glass.

"Voi," Squalo snarls, dodging instinctively. "Shitty Boss, that wasn't a fucking broadsword, it was a _flamethrower_!"

"The fuck are you taking about, trash?" Xanxus' guns come out, but Squalo has already started retreating.

"Hey!" Xanxus barks out and pegs a small box at Squalo's head.

The swordsman catches it and blinks at the present, opening it despite thinking it might be a shrapnel bomb. There are hair clips inside, little pink bows with bright red love hearts.

_Fuck it_, Squalo thinks, and drops the box as he charges the Varia leader.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's so short, I just wanted to post something instead of just a note telling you where Repeat has gone.

I have one for Tsuna, another short piece, and I'll put that up next.


	12. Happy Birthday? (Tsuna edition)

Title: Happy birthday? (Tsuna edition)

Summary: Tsuna was equal parts amused and horrified when it turned out Reborn didn't stop cosplaying even after he reached adulthood. Tsuna was used to it, he thought. Apparently not.

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* * *

"Tsuna," Takeshi begins, the usually comforting weight of his arm around Tsuna's shoulders turning into a restricting hold. "You're twenty-six now and we're beginning to get worried."

Tsuna blinks.

"Not that there's anything wrong with the way you go about things, Juudaime," Hayato quickly cuts in, his own hold on the Decimo's wrist. "You can go at whatever speed makes you comfortable. But we've seen you pass up quite a few relationships..."

"Kyoko, Haru, Mia-" Takeshi lists.

"Okay," Tsuna interrupts. "I get the point, but I don't see where_ this_ is going, nor where _we_ are going – this way leads to the bedrooms."

"Well, we were thinking that it's okay to be shy but you also need to put yourself out there," Takeshi coaches gently.

"What?" Tsuna mutters, rather confused when the two slow to a stop in front of his door, with the little fish plaque on it from his childhood.

Takeshi pushes open the door and Tsuna suddenly has trouble breathing, not even able to try and resist when the two pull him further into the room.

Reborn is sitting casually on the bed, one leg slung over the other and leaning back on his hands. His usual suit and hat have been replaced, the man now bare foot and clad in a blood red, skin tight dress that barely covers anything.

"We got you a hooker," Takeshi says.

Tsuna chokes and spins around, but his legs go weak and he falls to his hands and knees. A high pitched whine escapes him, just as his lungs finally start working again and he takes in deep breaths, trying to think about breathing and nothing else.

"What?" came Reborn's usual deep, mocking voice. "Am I not good enough for you, Decimo?"

Tsuna collapses face down the same time he shatters into laughter, unfortunately on an exhale so there wasn't enough air for normal laughing - it was just quiet convulsions.

The shaking was worrisome, and even more so, the sounds that come from the poor man are too much like broken sobs for him to be anything approaching okay. Hayato and Takeshi happily ignore this.

"We'll just leave you two alone, Juudaime," Hayato chuckles and slips out of the room with Takeshi. A lock engages from the outside and Tsuna vaguely wonders when that was installed.

Tsuna wheezes, shuddering in silent hysteria as he curls up on his side and wraps his arms around his head in a pathetic attempt at defence. From what, he didn't have the mental capacity to figure out.

"This is no way to treat a lady," Reborn berates darkly, but not even the promise of pain could stop Tsuna from shaking.

A light thump near his head makes him shift an arm down so he could squint through tears. It was a package covered in orange wrapping paper that was dropped onto the floor.

"Happy birthday, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn's voice was fond.

Tsuna whimpers again, reaching out to pull the box to his chest and pressing his cheek harder against the floor, hoping he won't actually die from asphyxiation because of laughter.

He would say thank you later, when he could actually talk.

* * *

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A/N: This could totally happen, I swear.

Did you guys want a time loop chapter here in Vongola Style, or a soul mate chapter in Repeat?


	13. Let's do the time warp again

Title: Let's do the time warp again~

Summary: (╯ರ _ ರ）╯︵ ┻━┻ Time loops suck and Tsuna wishes people would just co-operate.

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* * *

The first time he snapped back, he was thirty four and had just taken a bullet to the heart. He woke up to a year or so before Reborn arrives, so confused but happy that he hadn't died, planning on redoing things faster this time.

He fell into a hellish training schedule to rival Reborn's, but he could tolerate it for a better chance, before people got hurt. Then Reborn arrived and he got his hands on the pills that unlocked his flames. He snapped up his Guardians, tackled Mukuro to the ground and threatened him until he complied, and bargained the Vendice down to Vongola owing them a favour.

Tsuna then smacked Xanxus around, before smacking Timoteo around too for freezing his son, before telling both to fuck off back to Italy. He caught up with a young Byakuran and warned him, nicely, that if he suddenly had the idea to take over the world, Tsuna's going to have to smack him around too.

Next was the Arcobaleno. He knocked on Kawahira's door and proceeded to have a chat turned lecture on Being Mean To People. He gave him a crate holding the glass bowls and instructions. Then he smiled and wondered out loud how happy Bermuda would be if the ex-Arcobaleno suddenly got a hold of Kawahira's address.

He moved on to the Shimon next, appearing in Enma's room, kind of guilty at freaking him out, but having to get him way from Julie who was possessed by Deamon. He dropped eye witness accounts of Daemon being a dick to convince the red head, then he dragged Enma off to beat up the ghost together as a bonding exercise.

And that was it. An admittedly suspicious happy ending, but that was supposed to be it. Then the one person he didn't suspect cornered him and soon enough he was staring down the barrel of gun, accused of killing the real Sawada Tsunayoshi.

In Tsuna's second life, his father killed him with cold eyes.

* * *

In his third one, he decided to be a bit more subtle. After training once more, getting annoyed at his younger body, he followed the timeline closer to his old one, but quicker. He dealt with Reborn's antics to get the pills, found his Guardians, and watched his father with a wary eye. Unfortunately, the similarities made him slack and unconcerned, even in a fight – almost especially in a fight.

When he turned his back on Xanxus, he woke up to his bedroom ceiling.

* * *

In his fourth life, he sent a tonne of laxatives to the Varia headquarters.

It felt good, despite the fact that Xanxus hadn't yet unfroze. His father arrived in shock that his son knew the address and Tsuna revealed his notes. He was then flown over to Italy to meet Timoteo.

Rather naively, he thought they would actually include him in their plans. When it became apparent they weren't, he found himself crawling through the vents to watch the meeting. He watched as Nono passed a folder to a nondescript man and ordered him to dispose of Byakuran.

Tsuna didn't bother to listen to the rest of the meeting, immediately dropping from the ceiling and demanding an explanation. Timoteo gave him a patronising smile and Nougat, his Rain Guardian, was suddenly moving faster than an old man should.

They put him on the first flight back to Japan as soon as he regained consciousness, despite his screams, logical demands, and embarrassingly enough, crying. A week later an assassin cornered him at the market and slit his throat.

Tsuna cursed the block on his flames.

* * *

In his fifth life, he decided to keep the future to himself, and made sure not to trust blindly. He was a moron. They had left him to fight murderer after murderer and he actually expected them to help in a sensible way?

He built an information network and as it spread like wildfire, he easily obtained the dying will pills once more. He sent teams of highly trained operatives to deal with his plans and somewhere along the way started his own mafia famiglia. He met Nono to discuss an alliance and it lasted for years until the Vendice appeared out of nowhere and executed him in front of his horrified Guardians.

Fucking Daemon.

* * *

In his sixth life he said fuck everything and took a vacation in the Caribbean.

* * *

In his seventh, after an incredibly peaceful life by the sea despite being drowned by an assassin not even a year later, he figured it would be best if he didn't enter the mafia at all. He told his mum about the newest school exchange program and took off to Italy.

There, he bought an apartment and settled down at a new school to wait. He snatched a box of pills from Vongola and foiled one of the assassination attempts on the oldest but hated himself when the two younger ones got taken out almost simultaneously.

That's fine, Tsuna thought, I'll just follow Enrico and protect him until he finally gets Guardians.

It didn't take long – the training was sped up and Enrico soon collected a full set of protectors. Tsuna declared his job well done and hopped on a flight back home to his mum.

He turned thirteen and sighed in relief when no Reborn arrived, continuing with his first normal middle school life. He got halfway through the year and cursed himself for not keeping an eye on the mafia regardless, because when he was at school that day, Enrico's hired hitman struck, simply taking out the competition for the Vongola line.

When the boy got home, his mum was dead.

Tsuna killed Enrico, killed the Guardians following that piece of shit, killed Timoteo, killed everyone with in a _fifty kilometre radius _of the Vongola base, and finally killed himself.

* * *

It's his eighth life and he spent the entire thing attached to his mother like a barnacle, except for when he sabotaged Iemitsu and made him retire early. His mum was happy, his dad became happy, and Tsuna was the happiest of all.

It was perfect.

He even made friends with his Guardians again, having 'mysteriously' called over the non-Japanese ones thanks to Iemitsu's lingering power.

Reborn stared in horror at the still form on the sidewalk. It was impossible for the bullet not to work - everyone had regrets.

Well, apparently Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't.

* * *

His ninth was when he decided to try following the script again. He got past the first meeting with Reborn, gleefully ripped out Mochida's hair and faced off against Hayato before talking Takeshi down and smacking Kyoya with a slipper.

Interspersed within he met his little siblings again and was rather disappointed when Mukuro showed, because despite they friendship they have (had) Tsuna knew that this was when things got serious.

Unfortunately, right at the end with Mukuro defeated, the Vendice showed up and Tsuna kind of flashed back to Mukuro floating so still in that godforsaken tank, and he challenged them.

Just a bit. A tiny, itty-bitty bit.

* * *

His tenth life started out with him hunting down the Estraneo and burning them all alive. He didn't even have his flames unblocked, and it was been barely a day since he woke up, but Tsuna could hit Mach 5 when he had the proper motivation.

Tsuna didn't smile at the slaughter but he couldn't bring himself to feel any regret. The children that stood around him assured that, their little bodies broken, bruised and bloody. If this life wasn't the one, Tsuna promised to himself that he would do it again.

He lost a few kids before the Vongola back up got there from his phone call, a few escaping to forge ahead on their own instead of being inducted to yet another Mafia famiglia. He let them go, but first pushed handfuls of cash into their arms and wished them luck.

He watched Mukuro closely as they waited, wondering how to bring up Chrome, but a mafia famiglia arrived then.

It wasn't the Vongola.

* * *

For his eleventh, he entered better prepared. He actually got the pills from the black market, for one.

He entered the lottery under different names and poured all of the winnings into fast forwarding the building of an orphanage in the land he bought on the outskirts of Namimori.

Kyouya met him there one day as Tsuna oversaw the production and the brunet told the Carnivore about the mafia and Estraneo and his past lives, because his Guardian was nothing like the negligent authority figures.

Kyoya didn't believe him, not fully, but the boy was plenty willing to find out if Tsuna was lying. They head for Italy within the week and the Estraneo never saw it coming.

Kyoya pet him on the head when all was said and done and Tsuna melted under the quiet praise.

Tsuna gave the kids a few options, but most ended up flying back to Namimori with him and they settle… not well, but better than Tsuna expected for having lived under the ruthless Estraneo famiglia.

Tsuna snatched up Hayato as the boy wandered the streets after having run away from his dad, at the same time picking up Lambo. He visited Takesushi every day until Takeshi gave up and counted him as a friend, and joined Ryohei's boxing club (who was ecstatic and a surprisingly good instructor).

Tsuna has no idea how Chrome showed up but Mukuro snickered and whatever, Tsuna was going to find her eventually this just saved time.

He got his mum in on it, and the woman fell in love with the kids, actually moving into the mansion like orphanage. Kyoko dropped by and where she was, Hana was, then Haru wandered in and Fuuta (very much early) followed.

Byakuran stopped by after his Japanese friend Soichi called him over, and Tsuna cackled to himself when he stole away with Enma over his shoulder as the boy's family chased him. Spanner wandered in one day and simply didn't leave, and Fran had apparently been there for a while(?). Tsuna felt like he didn't even have to try anymore.

Steadily but surely Tsuna gathered his family close and held on with a frighteningly, borderline obsessive desperation.

None of them minded.

When Reborn arrived it was to an army of flame active kids and the takeover of Vongola was incredibly smooth. After all, he was only slipping into his previous position.

He was killed at seventy-two protecting his grandchild.

* * *

It was his twelfth life that he wakes up with tears in his eyes. He loved his life and loved his family and his little adorable kids and he wasn't going to give that up.

He gets the pills, build the house, takes Kyoya with him, burns Estraneo, takes the kids back, snaps up his family and dies of old age, surrounded by his loved ones.

* * *

He can't bring himself to get out of bed for a month.

He built the house, spoke with Kyoya, rescued the kids, collected his guardians, took over Vongola…

* * *

It takes three months to leave the house this time.

There was the house, Estraneo, his family, then the Vongola.

* * *

He was often in and out of the hospital, his mum fluttering at the edges of his vision, not knowing how to help her son, not knowing why the boy refused to eat.

House, Estraneo, family, Vongola.

* * *

Estraneo, family, Vongola.

* * *

Estraneo, family.

* * *

Family.

* * *

Family.

* * *

Family.

* * *

He lay there, a preteen again with the after images of blood on his hands as he held Hayato's wounds closed.

Well, he though shakily to himself, this isn't working. So he tried a different way.

* * *

And then another

* * *

And another

* * *

Another

* * *

Tsuna couldn't bring himself to stop, because he got so close, he had everything he could ever have wanted, and then he starts over with nothing, with only enemies or strangers who look at him with distrust and suspicion, but Tsuna _couldn't stop._

* * *

.

.

.

* * *

He woke up one reset and finally realised that he didn't want his family anymore. It came as a surprise to him, the shock pushing back the fog of depression that wanted to settle in his mind.

It was a shock but not unexpected. He's had them - had the perfect life in so many ways, so many times.

His eyes slid shut. He just wanted to stop looping. Wanted everything to stop.

He drifted

* * *

And woke up again.

* * *

.

A/N:

Can you spot the moment I gave up writing this?

I was like 'yeah, I can manage a hundred lives'.

I can't.


	14. Coffin Club

Title: Coffin Club

Summary: It's approximately the second time that Tsuna wakes up in a coffin, when he realises that Reborn is a full-blown asshole. (Or: A day in the life of Tsunayoshi Sawada.)

.

* * *

"There's another meeting you have with Taco-" Hayato is cut off when Tsuna's head snaps up from the desk.

"Taco? Is that a real famiglia?" Tsuna blurts out incredulously.

"No, but that moronic boss is always going on about his taco franchise," Hayato says with a dismissive shrug.

Tsuna drops his head down against the table.

"It's at three, so he can be a creep stalker-"

"Hayato!" Tsuna's head rises again, and he frowns at his friend.

"What? Have you seen the way he looks at you? He has a whole network set up just to track your movements." Hayato offers no apology.

Laughter is heard from the doorway and when they turn, Takeshi steps though, carrying some more folders. Tsuna just sighs and slumps lower in his chair.

"Are you talking about Taco?" Takeshi asks.

Tsuna groans and Takeshi grins teasingly, dropping his paperwork on the edge of the massive desk.

Hayato rolls his eyes and shuffles paper loudly to get Tsuna's attention. "So there's that, and then Kyouya seems to have scribble over three one hour slots that he's going to 'bite you to death'."

Hayato has to raise his voice over another pained groan and ignores how Tsuna slides off his chair and under his desk. "In response, I felt obliged to leave some dynamite in his room that will go off when a motion sensor is triggered." He looks up from the schedule to smile brightly, a metaphorical tail wagging behind him.

"No, Hayato! Bad!" Tsuna cries, jumping to his feet. "Go disarm it, right now."

"But Juudaime, he was practically asking for it," Hayato says as if Tsuna was the unco-operative one.

Tsuna isn't able to respond before a loud explosion shakes the walls the slightest bit. He's rather concerned at how the explosion in Kyouya's part of the vast grounds managed to shake the main building.

Hayato hides behind his papers. "Okay, maybe it was a bit more than 'some' dynamite."

A wave of killing intent washes over the three, expanding to encompass the entirety of Vongola. Takeshi laughs, even while griping his sword in a defensive stance. Tsuna wants to curl up in despair and not do anything for a few hours but he takes the more logical route and throws himself out the window.

"Bye, Tsuna!" Takeshi calls after the fleeing brunet.

Tsuna hits the ground and rolls to absorb impact, promises to himself that he'll stop jumping out of windows higher than three storeys, and tosses a wave over his shoulder.

He gets past the corner, intent on sprinting for the parking lot half way up the drive to steal a car. However, as he clears the decorative garden of hedges, a wild Kyouya appears.

Tsuna skids to a halt, millimetres from his cloud Guardian who stands there with a blank face.

"Higottagobye!" Tsuna abruptly screams as he twists around and runs back towards the building, knowing he wouldn't be able to get a car started with Kyouya chasing him.

Kyouya gives chase, of course. Tsuna laments looking so guilty but it's not like he wouldn't be hunted down regardless. Tsuna spies Ryohei walking along, chatting enthusiastically with one of his subordinates who Tsuna vaguely remembers as a boxer.

"Ryohei, catapult!" Tsuna calls out and the white haired man immediately plants his feet and laces his fingers as a step.

Kyouya snarls in anger from behind Tsuna, only making the Decimo speed up. He plants a foot in the hold and Ryohei launches him up at the building. He goes flying through an open window, landing easily on the large dining table.

Ignoring the cries of rage from the Varia, he darts down the table, using the back of Xanxus' throne chair as a step and hurtles out of the door and down the hall way.

The sound of death follows him.

Tsuna frantically tries to think of a plan other than 'play dead'. He comes up blank.

"Kufufufufu."

His intuition can only manage a flail before lotus flowers explode from the ground and he's pulled to a sudden halt, the illusion trapping him.

"Where are you going, Tsunayoshi?" Mukuro teases as he swirls into existence in front of the brunet. "Perhaps into my arms?" Mukuro continues, stepping closer with a sly grin. "Are you finally ready to give me your – oh _shit_."

Tsuna presumes that Kyouya has caught up to him, but its fine. Mukuro will serve as a perfect distraction.

Unfortunately, Tsuna's life can't be that easy.

His plan doesn't fail, technically, because Mukuro does save him. By throwing him out of the window. On to Lal Mirch.

But then the mist follows with a gleeful laugh and Kyouya comes charging out seconds later, the entirety of the Varia on his tail. What follows is the most destructive, terrifying game of tag anyone has ever, and will ever, see.

Kyouya manages to catch Tsuna later anyway, but at least he now has an excuse to not meet Taco. All in all, not a bad day.

And then he gets hit with the bazooka.

* * *

As the pink smoke clears, Tsuna still rather stunned from the abrupt and unexpected tackle hug from Lambo, he blinks into the darkness.

Quite a few things register at once: the pitch black, the absurdly uncomfortable surface he was lying on, the small space just large enough to fit him, the slight rocking, and finally the absence of outside noise which means airtight.

It all gathers into one clear picture and Tsuna squeezes his eyes shut, mentally apologising to Lambo for the corpse of his older self.

He hesitates to knock on the coffin lid, because showing his mourning family an alive version would be horrible of him, but he also desperately wants to know how he died. It takes another few wasted seconds to reason out that if he avoids this death, his friends wouldn't be sad, despite how he'll leave this timeline.

He takes a deep breath and knocks.

The rock immediately stops and the coffin shifts as if Tsuna is being put onto the floor. The lid cracks open a touch, letting bright sunlight stream through, before completely swinging open.

Tsuna has to raise his arm to block out the too powerful light. Shadows fall over him and when Tsuna peers up, he sees clowns.

His scream sounds something like, "sukjqflq7iwqtc8;ywibhdegkl!" as he scrambles out of the coffin and trips a little trying to get away from the painted entertainers.

It's hopeless though, since the group of about thirty, all of them equally disturbing and terrifying, surround him. They're in a graveyard as well, which makes sense considering the coffin, but also _holy shit there are clowns everywhere._

A touch on his shoulder make him spin and back away, staring in horror at the thickly painted on sad face with a large red ball for a nose and polka dotted onesie.

"I don't taste good," Tsuna blurts out, leaning back from the slowly shuffling forward demons, the entire group closing the circle around him. "I swear I don't – can I just get back in the coffin?"

The thing jerks suddenly and Tsuna screams, throwing up his hands.

A cloud of pink smoke obscures the man and the graveyard is silent. Another brunet pitches forward out of the smoke, older now and eyes closed. Arms catch him when he falls and he groans into a muscled chest.

"Did you drug me?" Tsuna mumbles, able to get his legs under him despite how shaky they were. He grips the shoulders of the one holding him and pushes back to stand, eyes fluttering open.

"i3d3eowbtv5ilbyoyhkxsugu!"

Finally, the mob breaks character and bursts into laughter as the brunet topples over on weak limbs, falling to the grass as he flails spectacularly.

The clown who caught the man still thinks Tsuna digging his way out of the coffin only to find his worst nightmare standing in a silent circle would have been better, but he did manage to get two Tsuna's to shriek like they were thirteen again.

"Dammit, this isn't even training, this is just sick! I hate you Reborn!"


	15. Kittens

Title: Kittens (but not in the fun way)

Summary: Tsuna wakes up to fluffy kittens. Contrary to that starting, the rest of the day is horrible. (And then Tsuna uses his epic Decimo skills to erase his memory. It's get better after that.)

.

* * *

The twenty-six year old Decimo is currently napping on a couch in his office. He's spread out on his back with one leg raised and resting against the back of the couch. A hand is on his abdomen with his other arm raised, that hand tucked under his head.

The large desk he usually sits at is cluttered with a laptop and papers scattered about with pens and pencils tucked in between the layers.

The door, normally open but politely closed by a passing Vongola member, slowly opens two figures creep in. One with glasses and red hair nervously keeps glancing at the blonde striding in without a care, a cardboard box in the man's hands.

"Uh," Shoichi begins hesitantly when the two men reach the sleeping Decimo. "Tsuna?"

The Decimo hums, his eyes still closed as he struggles to awaken, his mind foggy and reality around him blurry.

"Wake up please," Shoichi continues. "Sorry about this but we have a problem- wait, Spanner!"

A lungful of air is forced out of Tsuna when something slams into his stomach and the Decimo groans but Reborn hits harder so he just settles down again.

"Meow!" says quite a few tiny things from the vicinity of Tsuna's abdomen, the tones all small and soft with an impressive number of inflictions ranging from annoyance to delight.

"…Did you just pour kittens on me?" Tsuna asks, voice husky from sleep. His eyes still don't open even though he knows he has to get up.

"...No?" Spanner tries.

"Spanner, don't lie," Shoichi huffs. "Tsuna, I really think you need to wake up... some of them are trying to get under your clothes..."

"They are really fluffy," comments Tsuna as he feels three separate balls of softness sneak up his shirt.

A few more spread out, munching on his fingers and one striding up his torso to curl up in the space between his neck and the arm raised.

"You really shouldn't let them crawl on you," Shoichi hums in concern as he watches one wriggle into Tsuna's chest pocket.

"Why?" Tsuna mumbles sleepily as he rubs his cheek against the one near his neck. "Are they radioactive?"

"No," Spanner says. "But that one's Reborn and I'm pretty sure they're all going to remember when they turn human again."

Tsuna's eyes snap open. "Oh."

* * *

Tsuna has to get up eventually and finds out that his Guardians as well as Reborn and Fon, who was visiting Kyouya, had been down in the Vongola basement laboratory to see the new standard of box weapon when Mukuro said something and Kyouya tackled him into a new machine off to the side.

The rest were too close to avoid the sudden gush of gas from a broken canister in the machine, the casing of which had distinctive punctures from Kyouya's spiked tonfa. Shoichi and Spanner immediately bolted because they knew better than to try and be heroes, and when they crept back in, tiny kittens were stumbling round the lab's floor.

The two mad scientists dumped them on Tsuna and retreated back to the lab to fix things and analyse the gas' effects on humans since it was only a theoretical model without any live tests yet.

The good news in all this is that it does exactly what it was built to do. Hopefully the effects will wear off like planned as well, in twenty-four hours.

Tsuna glances around the room when he hears hissing, the kittens currently exploring his office (after Tsuna removed all of the potentially dangerous or important objects from anywhere a kitten could reach).

He leans forward to see over his desk, down to the floor, and gapes when he sees two kitten ...wrestling. Tsuna screams in horror and dives over the desk, hitting the ground awkwardly before grabbing both and pulling them apart.

"Not until you're thirty!" Tsuna shrieks and throws both at separate couches.

They hit with soft 'puff' sounds and mewl in annoyance. Tsuna very swiftly deletes that memory from his mind and ignores the fact that he knows both cats identities since the rest are in view and Tsuna could very easily eliminate Lambo and Ryohei and –

No, there is no need to name the two cats.

[This file has been deleted]

[Loading…]

What is Tsuna doing on the floor? He looks around in confusion and stands, moving back behind the desk.

* * *

It's now dark outside and Tsuna has done no work at all, far too busy staring at his cats.

He's propped up his chin on one hand and the other is covering a kitten Hayato like a blanket. Takeshi is wrapped around Tsuna's shoulders and Ryohei is still playing with the cat toy on the floor beside the desk.

Reborn is splayed out across Tsuna's keyboard, territorial and occasionally purring mockingly. Mukuro sits at a sleeping Chrome's side like a sentry, watching everything with heterochromatic eyes that catch every movement. Lambo is in Tsuna's lap, slowly scratching his pants to ribbons.

In the usual candy bowl Tsuna has on his desk is Kyouya and Fon, the two black kittens curled up around each other with Kyouya lying on Fon's stomach, the Storm's arms around the Cloud to keep him down as Fon languidly licks in between ears that are flattened back.

Kyouya doesn't seem to like it but he also looks really comfortable and the sun is bathing him in warmth so he won't be moving for a while. Kyouya doesn't even protest at Fon curling their tails together.

Tsuna uses the same method when he needs the Cloud for a meeting, placing the Guardian in the seat right next to the window that gets a perfect amount of sun.

The two Arcobaleno are more cat than kitten, grown due to their age. Tsuna has his suspicions that the felines are at least partly aware of what's going on (although something twitches at the back of his mind and curls into a ball, sobbing) and they're using that knowledge to melt him into a puddle of goo at their adorableness.

Tsuna's bin is home to a bag of cat treats, the evil kittens having already made him pass out the treats within the first ten minutes. Takeshi is constantly blinking at Tsuna with huge, shining eyes and begging cat treats off him. Ryohei rolls around and bounces on Tsuna's foot, adorably energetic. Lambo just starts meowing while Hayato will purr.

Mukuro steals them somehow and passes half along to Chrome. Kyouya refuses to eat any despite Fon head-butting him pointedly, and Fon will politely nod at Tsuna for treats. Reborn just has to glare at Tsuna to get one.

Tsuna blinks out of memory slowly as Reborn uncurls from his position blocking the laptop and stands, walking with an intent that makes Tsuna wary. He strides past a curiously watching Mukuro and ignores Hayato's overprotective hiss when Reborn comes too close to Tsuna's hand covering the silver kitten.

Reborn eventually ends up at the candy bowl, eye level with the lip of the glass, and he rises up on his back two legs, placing his front paws on the bowl to balance himself as he peers inside. The two black cats in the bowl don't move or even look at Reborn. The hitman – hitcat – hitkitten reaches out a paw and very deliberately hovers it over a coffee flavoured hard candy in brown packaging.

Kyouya's head snaps up and his sliver eyes lock onto Reborn, pupils slitting further as his tail starts a slow sway in the air. Tsuna sighs in exasperation but it's unbelievably cute so he lets them go.

Reborn mockingly lowers the paw and right before he touches the candy, Kyouya stands from his previous sprawl on Fon, a deep low growl starting up at the back of his throat.

Tsuna chokes a little because a tiny kitten should not be able to make that noise and holy shit Tsuna really wants to hide under his desk.

Reborn grabs the candy packet and whisks it out of the bowl right before Kyouya springs at him in outrage. The tackle catches Reborn and both black kittens, one with slightly curlier fur denoting the hitman, go rolling across the desk.

Mukuro makes a strange noise as they pass him and it takes Tsuna a moment to link it to a cat versions of the Mist's usual 'kufufufu'.

Fon stands and hops out of the candy bowl, pacing over to the two tumbling kittens before reaching in and gripping Kyouya by the back of his neck. The younger goes still and Fon pulls back before trotting to the bowl, Kyouya hanging from his mouth.

Reborn struts back to the keyboard with his candy in his mouth, and in a few neat scratches of his claws it opens and he starts licking it.

Fon drops Kyouya into the bowl and flops down onto the Cloud, going straight back to licking the kitten in a weird mix of trying to clean the homicidal intent from him and boding time.

Kyouya glares up at Tsuna with narrowed eyes, making the Decimo lean back in caution, the kitten clearly blaming Tsuna for the entre situation.

The door opens then and Shoichi hesitantly steps in. "The process can be sped up so they'll return to their forms sooner," he tells Tsuna.

"Is it ready now?" Tsuna asks.

"Yes, it's set up already." Shoichi looks warily at the kittens. "Do you need help moving them? I can get the box again."

Tsuna hums, eyes roving over his cats. "Nah, I'm sure they can wait it out." He smiles at Shoichi kindly. "I've always wanted a cat."

Shoichi looks concerned, backing away towards the door.

"Keep the machine for me, won't you?" Tsuna hums, already back to watching Ryohei tumble around. "For next time I need a rest day."

Shoichi slips out through the door silently.

* * *

.

A/N: This story was going nowhere from the start, I just really want a cat.


	16. Strawberries and Bananas

Title: Strawberries and Bananas

Summary: Hayato soon learns the hard way that if you feed a stray they start coming back. Kyouya takes offence to being called a stray, Reborn looks amused at the title and Mukuro takes an unholy amount of delight in living up to the insult.

.

* * *

Hayato usually doesn't mind sitting between Kyouya and Reborn. Sure, the two are quite frankly terrifying, but Hayato doesn't exactly have a good sense of self preservation.

Hayato is currently sitting on a couch in Tsuna's office, patiently waiting for the Decimo to return from a meeting with the Chiavarone so they can both eat the strawberries Hayato has.

He turns the plastic container over in his lap and debates taking a few small bites.

However, Reborn suddenly drops down onto the couch beside Hayato, who automatically tenses because the hitman did not come through the door. As Hayato is about to ask where Reborn entered from, Kyouya strolls in and drops down onto Hayato's other side.

While usually Kyouya perches on a windowsill and Reborn stands by a wall, the couch is really comfortable, so Hayato can't fault them for sitting down next to him.

However, Hayato is rather confused at this point because while Reborn will randomly enter the Vongola despite not technically being aligned with them, normally Kyouya needs to be kidnapped from Japan. He only relaxes when he remembers the planned free-for-all in the afternoon.

Kyouya is probably going to discuss something with Tsuna, most likely complaining about the 'no fatal attacks' part of the rules. That section also includes 'no permanent maiming', 'yes, paralysis counts as maiming' and 'Kyouya, stop maiming people'.

So, Hayato doesn't particularly care that he has these two sitting with him, but he also has strawberries that he wants to eat, and that's going to be dangerous around these men.

Hayato slides glances at them both, Kyouya reading something on his phone and Reborn poking Leon in between the eyes. As Hayato watches, the chameleon on Reborn's lap finally gets annoyed and bites down on Reborn's finger. The man smirks and raises his hand, the lizard clinging determinedly even as it dangles mid-air.

Hayato takes the chance and tries to subtly take off the plastic lid of the small container in his lap, revealing bright, juicy strawberries that have been cut into bite sized pieces. He takes the toothpick he left inside in lieu of a fork and stabs a small piece, raising it to his mouth.

Hayato jerks the container up and clutches it to his chest as Kyouya abruptly flops onto his lap. Reborn follows not long after, both men staring up at Hayato with their legs hanging off the couch arms.

"No," Hayato declares.

They both open their mouths, peering up at him with innocent eyes as if Hayato would possibly fall for that.

"_No_!" Hayato says firmly. You need to be firm with people like these or they won't learn.

Hayato, for a brief moment, thinks he's won when the two close their mouths. Then he suddenly has a gun pressing into the underside of his jaw while cold metal of a tonfa rests lightly against his neck.

He didn't even see them move.

When Hayato narrows his eyes, ready to tell both to fuck off, Kyouya calmly deploys his spikes and the sharp metal scrapes along Hayato's very important carotid artery.

"Fine," Hayato grits out.

The weapons disappear in the next second and they open their mouths again.

"Why am I feeding you?" Hayato grumbles but drops a piece of strawberry into each of their mouths.

They don't sit up again until all of the fruit is gone and Hayato's legs have gone numb. The only consolation Hayato has is that at least it wasn't Mukuro.

* * *

Hayato stands by the small island of the kitchen, chopping some bananas while the melted chocolate sits to the side.

He tenses when he feels a presence behind him but it's already too late. Arms wind around his neck as the male leans heavily against Hayato's back. The taller man peers over Hayato's shoulder and hums at the thought of chocolate fondue.

"This is for Juudaime," Hayato says in annoyance and tries to shrug off the other man.

Mukuro is as touchy-feely at Takeshi, except while Takeshi does it to friends, the Mist does it to everyone and gets some sort of sadistic pleasure from making people uncomfortable.

"How rude," the interloper purrs, far too close to Hayato's ear. "We're all _family,_ right? Why don't you share?"

Hayato narrows his eyes as long, purple hair falls over his shoulder and almost touches the cutting board holding the banana slices. How unsanitary.

"Get off me, Mukuro," Hayato snaps, holding up the knife threateningly. It promptly turns into a toy snake and flops over sadly.

Fuck Mist users. Fuck them all.

Despite Hayato's weapon being a rubber snake, he still stabs Mukuro in the hand when the man reaches for the bananas.

Blood gushes out immediately, getting over all of the fruit and coating Hayato's hand, clearly far more than what is entirely necessary considering it's both a hand that was injured and the weapon was a rubber snake.

"Are you serious right now?" Hayato cries in annoyance at his food being contaminated, spinning around and shoving Mukuro away. "Really?"

Mukuro flops his hand around and blood starts spraying out dramatically like some C-rate horror movie. "You're the one who stabbed me," Mukuro says calmly. "Just look at what you've done. I'm so injured."

He shoves his hand into Hayato's face and the poor Storm is unable to turn away fast enough, getting his face splattered in blood along with his clothes.

"Fuck off!" Hayato barks and smacks the arm away, his other hand tightening on the snake.

Mukuro's entire forearm detaches and drops to the floor as more blood starts pouring out. The rubber snake also suddenly starts wriggling and Hayato quickly drops the red-bellied black snake.

He knows it's technically Mist flames but this is a Schrödinger's cat type of situation. It could be a knife with an illusion over it or Mukuro could have used his eye to create a very real snake.

Once again: fuck Mist users.

"This is why no one likes you," Hayato hisses.

"Oya, are you forgetting my darling Chrome?" Mukuro drawls, touching his chest with his... stump in a mockery of incredulity. He doesn't seem to care that his clothes are getting soaked in blood or that a large puddle is forming under him and spreading along the kitchen tiles.

Hayato does. Hayato cares that the asshole is messing up the kitchen.

The Storm jabs a finger at Mukuro -ignoring how the man's abdomen rather abruptly develops a hole where Hayato was pointing as if the Storm just stabbed the man- and glares. "She doesn't count, and neither does the dog or the yo-yo. Everyone knows you've brainwashed them into caring."

"You mean like how Tsunayoshi has given up on getting rid of you?" Mukuro chuckles with a kufufufu. "Your persistence is good for something, I suppose."

Hayato sucks in a breath and reaches for the drawer holding utensils. Yes, he uses dynamite, but sometimes stabbing someone just feels nicer.

"What is happening?" Tsuna deadpans.

The two spin to face the Decimo who's standing in the doorway, the man's eyes scanning the ridiculous amount of blood and the snake currently trying to escape through the window.

* * *

.

A/N: Hayato actually feeds the Guardians (plus one Reborn) about 20% of the time. 60% goes to their ability to feed themselves, 10% is Nana, and the remaining is split evenly between Tsuna, Kusakabe and Byakuran.

(Don't ask about that last part. It's weird and more than a little bit terrifying.)


	17. A Fate Worse Than Death

Title: A Fate Worse Than Death

Summary: Tsuna has no idea why his guardians insist on playing paintball, in his office, while he's trying to work.

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* * *

"Pushing left!" Hayato barks.

Lambo whips left around the cover of an upturned table and fires, the pellets skimming Takeshi as he dives behind a bookshelf.

Tsuna sits behind his desk, struggling to pay attention to his emails with all of the noise. The rest of the guardians and one hitman are separated into two teams, all of them weaving between covers made from random furniture either in the office from before or dragged inside from an adjacent room.

Almost every inch of the place is splattered in paint and as pellets whiz past and explode against furniture, a collage of rainbow colours decorate the Decimo's office. All of the players are in pure white clothes, just simple pants and long sleeved t-shirts so the paint splatters show up clearly.

To show teams, they have either a large black strip of cloth around their waists or a thin yellow ribbon forming a lattice up their left legs. Each person has a belt around their thigh for extra ammunition and at this point in the game they're on their last clip.

They also carry a handgun, specially modified to carry paintballs yet to shoot with the same intensity as a real gun. In Reborn's words, 'if it doesn't hurt, they won't dodge'.

Lambo highly disagrees with that statement.

Tsuna sighs and looks up from his laptop. "Why are you doing this in my office?" he complains. "Surely there are better places to do this."

He is completely ignored by the occupants of the room.

Chrome and Mukuro alternate sprinting forward and firing to give cover, both of them slowly making their way into enemy territory. Hayato and Ryohei try to keep them back but those two work like an extension of each other.

Lambo curses when Takeshi manages to hit one of his knees that was out of cover. "Hit!" he calls out and stands with a hand up, walking to the 'dead zone' near Tsuna.

"Sorry," Takeshi chuckles, not looking apologetic at all with his narrowed eyes and sharp grin.

Hayato grits his teeth because Chrome is five meters away and Mukuro isn't far behind, Takeshi has an uninterrupted route straight to their end and Kyouya is useless.

The Cloud scowls at Hayato as if he heard the Storm's thoughts, but it's actually true. Reborn is keeping him pinned, the hitman sniping from between a gap in tables.

"I've extremely got this," Ryohei reassures calmly.

"Wait, don't-!" Hayato cries.

Ryohei dives out of cover with Hayato and tries to reach Kyouya behind a small set of drawers. Reborn picks him off easily but that split second of inattention lets Kyouya leap over the drawers, taking Takeshi out with a shot to the Rain's shoulder while mid-air, and land behind a couch.

Chrome startles and turns to face him, the two level with each other, but Kyouya weaves around her shot and one of his paintballs cracks open against her thigh.

There's a pause as Takeshi, Ryohei and Chrome move off field.

Then Mukuro is lunging over the couch, his gun barrel not half a meter from Kyouya's head. The Cloud throws himself towards Mukuro instead of away and the shots go over him. Before the Mist can realign his gun, Hayato manages three consecutive hits on Mukuro's back but gets taken out by Reborn as a consequence.

The two men grumble as they stand and leave. Instead of letting them go and then continuing, Kyouya uses Mukuro as a shield to slip further into Reborn's territory. A split second after he gets behind the cover of a bookshelf, pellets slam into the wood and cover the sad looking texts more in paint.

Reborn smirks and calmly stands, sauntering around cover and making a beeline for Kyouya, not even trying to be subtle. Kyouya frowns and crawls low to the ground, trying to get to the large meeting table since it has all of its chairs tucked in with lots of gaps to snipe through.

"_Dove corri, Allodola_?" Reborn purrs in Italian. "_Venire, cantare una canzone."_

"I'll bite you to death," Kyouya snaps irritation, ignoring the strategic route and instead throwing himself out of cover, firing a spray of pellets at Reborn.

The hitman laughs, whirling around the line of fire and shooting back. Kyouya tucks and rolls for the large conference table, smoothly slipping under a chair despite the bars that connect the legs.

Reborn quickly darts after the Cloud, trying to find a gap so the pellets won't just hit wooden cover, but has to jump for the conference table when the man fires at his legs. The hitman lands easily and swiftly moves to the centre, scanning the edges for signs of Kyouya trying to make a break for it.

The others watch in fascination as Kyouya winds himself in between chair legs, the Cloud almost seeming to go boneless like a cat as he fits through the small gaps gracefully, ducking under and climbing over the decorative wooden connectors that link the chair legs.

Just as Reborn turns to the large windows to try and see if Kyouya's reflection shows, the Cloud pops up from behind and lands in a crouch on the table. The hitman whips around and both men raise their guns, coming to a stop before they pull the trigger.

Reborn has his gun barrel pressed against a kneeling Kyouya's forehead while Kyouya has his pointing quite a bit lower.

"Not bad," Reborn admits lightly. "I guess it's a tie then."

"I don't tie," Kyouya chuckles darkly. "I think we should just shoot and see what happens."

"It may be a paintball, but from this close with this type of gun, I would kill you," Reborn warns. "This is not your win. Take the tie, or take the loss."

"I might die," Kyouya allows. "But from where my paintball would hit, you would have a fate worse than death waiting for you."

"He's got you there, Reborn," Tsuna speaks up, watching with interest.

"It's Kyouya's win," Lambo agrees.

"Bianchi would be inconsolable," Hayato says.

"We all know you're badass," Takeshi reassures. "Hell, you could probably take it, but stepping down would be for the sake of the world."

"Think of everyone else," Ryohei chimes in. "Are you so extremely selfish?"

Chrome blinks her wide, sorrowful eyes. "People everywhere would be so sad."

Mukuro nods along with everyone. "Please don't make him shoot you in the dic-"

"Okay!" Reborn interrupts. "If I forfeit, will you all shut up?"

"We'll try," Tsuna promises.

* * *

.

A/N: I played paintball today and everything hurts.


	18. Bonding

Title: Bonding

Summary: First impressions count, especially when meeting your box animal.

Background: All of them are around ten years later, so everyone is an adult except for Lambo.

.

* * *

A demon of fire roars and lurches up to the high ceiling of the training room, lashing out whips of fire that leave black streaks where it connects with the walls, burning concrete and metal that take the heavy hits and shudder.

Tsuna gapes up at his box weapon and the rest of his Guardians do as well. Tsuna knows he has to control it and therefore needs to fight the animal, but he really doesn't feel like dying right this moment.

Kyouya rushes past, an eager smirk on his face and tonfa already spiked. He gets three steps and quite a few Guardians tackle him.

"This is Juudaime's!" Hayato snaps, struggling to pin the man's hips down.

"This isn't its proper form," Mukuro says casually, vines wrapping themselves around the Cloud's legs. "So no, you don't get to keep the pretty fire."

"Actually," Tsuna begins. "I wouldn't mind at all if Kyouya-hieee!" He throws himself to the ground, narrowly missing the bullets.

Leon turns back into a lizard from his gun form and crawls up Reborn's arm to the fedora. "This is your box animal, Dame-Tsuna," the man drawls. "You can deal with it yourself."

* * *

A tiny cat pops out and glares up at Hayato with disgust in its eyes.

"Ugh, I hate cats," Hayato grumbles, sneering at the creature. "And why the hell do you have polka dots?"

The kitten abruptly shifts into a fully grown leopard, catches on fire, and launches itself at Hayato's face.

* * *

"Oh, wow, I have two!" Takeshi laughs happily.

"Which one do you think has his hitman side?" Tsuna whispers to Chrome.

The dog yips cheerfully and flops onto it back, wriggling in delight when Takeshi drops to his knees and scratches its stomach. The bird sits, prim and proper on a chair back as it surveys the room with an intensity that should not belong to an animal.

"Of course it's the bird," Lambo mutters.

"Wonderful," Hayato says sarcastically. "Now we have two murderous birds to look after."

A tonfa is thrown at Hayato.

* * *

Ryohei is so ecstatic he actually says nothing for a full minute, just gazing at his box animal with joy.

"Why does it come with boxing gloves?" Tsuna wonders.

"Why does yours have a hat?" Takeshi contests.

"Touché."

* * *

Lambo stares at the massive beast towering over him and then looks to the rest, incredulous.

"Think of it this way," Mukuro begins helpfully. "If you ever get hungry-"

Chrome elbows him to shut up and smiles at Lambo. "I think you'll be great friends."

"It's fitting," Hayato mutters. "Since you're like a bull in a china shop."

"You can be a matador!" Takeshi snickers. "I'll get you a red cape."

"I don't- I don't know what the scientists were smoking," Tsuna admits with a shrug. "At least yours came assembled properly, unlike mine."

"That's so extreme, we need to have bull riding competitions," Ryohei plans with an eager glint to his eyes.

"It's better than the bronco's pony," Kyouya admits.

* * *

"Oh gosh it's so fluffy," Chrome whispers as she strokes the chest of the regal looking snowy owl.

The owl opens its eyes to reveal the left one is red and glowing with an indigo flame. Its head rotates a full one hundred and eighty degrees to stare at the other Guardians and it chuckles with a soft, menacing 'kufufufu'.

"No," Tsuna deadpans. "I'm not okay with that."

Takeshi's smile strains as the bird tilts its head completely upside down.

"I'll get an exorcist," Lambo volunteers.

"I'll get the flamethrower," Ryohei says.

"Why is it always the birds?" Hayato bemoans with a sigh.

A tonfa is thrown at Hayato.

* * *

In a world such as the mafia, it's imperative to see the signs of trouble, whether that be the glint of sunlight off a sniper's gun barrel, or someone who's having a hard time coping. Tsuna's hyper intuition helps immensely in these cases, and right now it has come to Tsuna's attention that his Guardians personify the five stages of grief and loss.

The first stage is a double of denial and isolation which is Takeshi and Mukuro respectively. Then comes anger which is seen in Hayato, and the third is bargaining in Lambo. The fourth stage of depression seems to be Tsuna's to fill in while Ryohei has the easiest time with the final stage of acceptance.

The grief itself comes in the form of a Japanese male by the name of Hibari Kyouya.

Takeshi chuckles, having reverted back to middle school mentality. "Maa, maa, what a fun game we're playing."

Mukuro inches backwards, dragging Chrome with him.

"Stop!" Hayato barks, clutching unlit dynamite. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"H-hey, do you want some grape candy?" Lambo stutters. "Or maybe a nice nap?"

"Why even bother?" Tsuna mutters. "Nothing matters anymore."

"Extreme!" Ryohei cries, looking enthusiastic and raring to go.

Kyouya raises an eyebrow at them, a newly perfected 'rolling spiked ball of death and destruction' hovering happily beside him, spinning so fast the silver needles make solid streaks of colour against the dark purple shell.

* * *

_Five hours later_

"Hey," Takeshi begins slowly, words partly slurred from the medication he was drugged up to the eyeballs with to stop the excruciating pain.

Tsuna lets out a groan and shifts the arm without the cast on it. Hayato huffs through the nose, his jaw currently held still by bandages. Lambo, currently unconscious, makes small whimpering sounds.

"If the animals have our personality," Takeshi mumbles. "Why is Roll so shy?"

Mukuro just stares at the opposite wall from his hospital bed, his mind picking apart that sentence. Ryohei then bursts into hysterical giggles, his eyes unfocused from the drugs.

They all unanimously agree to never bring up the topic again.


	19. Pregnancy

Title: Pregnancy

Summary: Chrome returns from her holiday with a surprise. It is… very much a surprise.

.

* * *

"Xanxus," Tsuna begins. "I appreciate you coming all the way over here to tell me about the…" he trails off, looking uncomfortable.

"Slip-and-slide?" Hayato offers up.

"-the atrocious amount of blood outside the Varia headquarters," Tsuna finishes with. "But I would also like to point out that you are officially independent and I don't want to deal with your brand of crazy when I already have Mukuro and Kyouya."

Xanxus hums, currently seated in what should be Tsuna's chair with his feet up on the Decimo's desk. He takes a sip of wine and seems to have no intention to move at all.

Tsuna sighs and plants his hands on the desk before leaning over it. "Xanxus, I'm not sure if you noticed, but Chrome is coming back after disappearing for far too long. I'm not saying you have to leave, but you have to leave."

The Guardians hanging around the room (everyone but Mukuro and Kyouya, which is the only reason Tsuna was comfortable calling the two crazy) are watching the byplay with amusement, occasionally stealing the snacks put out or fiddling with the decorations, most of which are declaring 'welcome home' in sparkly letters.

Xanxus raises an eyebrow in challenge and Tsuna is so close to calling up Squalo and making the silver haired man deal with it, but the door opens before he can decide on a course of action.

"I'm back," Chrome says happily as she steps into the room, a startled looking Mukuro following blindly behind.

Lambo turns to say 'welcome back' and get a hug but jolts back in terror when he sees her, tripping over a chair behind him and tumbling to the floor with the wooden furniture.

"Chrome," Ryohei says cautiously, raising both hands in defence. "I don't want to extremely alarm you, but you are extremely fat."

The entire room gets an annoyed expression from her and she (almost in a threatening manner) places her hands on her large abdomen.

"She's pregnant," Mukuro says in little more than a whisper.

"But she was gone for two months," Hayato blurts out. "How is she _that pregnant_ in two months? I mean it's just excessive."

"What do you have stashed in there?" Takeshi asks in confusion. "Octuplets? A baby elephant? A grown man?!"

Xanxus narrows his eyes in consideration and drops his feet from the table so he can sit up properly. "How much are you asking for?"

Chrome raises an eyebrow.

"My wife wants a child," Xanxus explains simply. "I figure buying one is a lot less troublesome."

"You have a wife?" Lambo squeaks out, unable to take one shock after the other. "We are horrible at communication."

"I have a Lussuria," Xanxus deadpans.

"I know what you mean," Tsuna chimes in. "I have a Reborn. It's always 'heir this' and 'heir that', but it's not like I'm going to die soon so there's no need to push the issue-" Tsuna stops and his eyes widen.

"Is something wrong?" Hayato asks cautiously.

"Oh my gosh," Tsuna breaths out in realisation, clutching at the edge of the desk to stay upright. "I'm going to die. I'm too much of a no-good person so Reborn's going to kill me and start over with my child!"

"Wait," Xanxus begins suspiciously. "Who are the Godparents?" He places the empty wine glass down and crosses his arms. "If one is Mukuro, then I don't want the child. It'll probably turn out to be another Fran."

Ryohei sniffles loudly and wipes away a tear. "It's so extremely beautiful. You're assuring the continuation of the puff-puff hair."

Mukuro splutters, offended. "Excuse me? No one calls it the puff-puff hair!"

"They should," Takeshi chuckles. "You know, because it's all _poof_ and _boing_ and-"

"Oh, good lord, stop," Hayato interrupts. "Those sound effects are both confusing and make me want to punch you in the throat."

"He's gonna kill meeeeee," Tsuna whimpers in terror, still caught up in his imagination.

Chrome just shakes her head and waddles out of the room, planning to say a proper hello later when they've regained their sanity. She pauses in hallway outside, only just realising how unrealistic that plan is. She turns around and slowly heads back to the room, deciding to simply get things over with. Kyouya will be showing up soon anyway, and they'll officially announce their first baby.

* * *

.

A/N: Happy Valentine 's Day everyone! I guess.

In chapter 10 of The Many Facets Of Kyouya, someone wanted Chrome's sudden plot-baby to be Kyouya's. Hope you like it, **pikaree1**!


	20. Vignettes

Title: Vignettes

Summary: Short moments in the life of the Vongola. (Including threats, Reborn and aviaries.)

.

* * *

It was a feral, out of control monster that tore through the forest clearing, ripping gouges into the earth and crushing thick trees in its way. Tsuna should be terrified, standing by himself, the only thing between the beast and civilians of Namimori. He should be screaming for help or running as fast as he can, as far as he can.

However, Tsuna has been exposed to Reborn on a bad day, Mukuro on a good day, Kyouya _every day_, and Xanxus - just all that is Xanxus.

Tsuna is really more exasperated than anything.

* * *

Mukuro, age thirty-four, wakes up in a test tube.

It's not expected, but it's also not as strange as it should rightly be considering his time spent with the Estraneo, the Vendice, and that one blind date.

* * *

"Bianchi, no offence, but get the fuck away from me with that thing."

* * *

Ryohei roars, clenching his fists as the yellow of his flames explode around him, almost turning his white hair a bright blonde.

"Is… is he a Super Saiyan?" Hayato asks, glancing around at the rest.

Mukuro just stares in confusion but Takeshi bursts into laughter, right alongside Tsuna. Even Reborn coughs out something like a suppressed chuckle.

* * *

Tsuna drops to the ground and cuts his flames off, the other mafia boss still sprawled in a crater and gasping in pain from being slammed into the floor from a hundred meters up.

"You know about the Estraneo, I'm sure?" Tsuna says suddenly.

The Don of the Scudo famiglia winces, because everyone knows about the Estraneo, and tries push himself up from the ground on shaky limbs.

"Yeah, that was my Mist before he hit puberty," Tsuna admits with pride. "And you know the Rovinare famiglia?"

The other boss doesn't answer, slowly getting to his feet, pushing through the pain.

"No, of course not," Tsuna chuckles. "Because that was my Cloud and he is very thorough."

The Scudo familgia boss suddenly lunges, a knife appearing in his hand and arcing for Tsuna's throat. A flare of orange and the knife is buried hilt deep in the other Don's shoulder and the man is crumpling to the floor again.

Tsuna smirks, leaning forward over the prone figure. "And when the next upstart boss swaggers on in and thinks they have a snowballs chance in hell at taking down the Vongola, I'm going to ask them; you know the Scudo famiglia? _That was me_."

* * *

Hayato is actually a mild kleptomaniac so occasionally he'll find guns or wallets or small, banal items mixed in with his dynamite supply.

It's only when he finds tonfa one day that it becomes a life-threatening problem.

* * *

Tsuna is in a jumper and comfortable jeans, because no Reborn, he's not ruining a suit that cost five figures.

"It'll be fun," Reborn coaxes.

"I think you're lying to me," Tsuna responds wearily.

While Reborn isn't technically his tutor anymore, they both have a hard time differentiating their odd relationship from professional life.

Reborn will keep complete control in front of strangers and acquaintances but when it's just Tsuna and his rather eclectic group of friends/enemies, Reborn will expect the poor Decimo to put up with surprise training exercises and bullets and cosplay.

That's not to say Tsuna isn't similar, because in front of others he'll play the hard-hearted boss but when comfortable it's not rare to hear a squeak of alarm or to see him look to Reborn for guidance.

It's understandable considering they've been in each other's company on and off for about ten years now, but sometimes Reborn seems to forget that Tsuna is a mafia boss and can actually say no to the hitman's insane ideas.

"I promise," Reborn lies.

Tsuna can say no, but sometimes he forgets that as well.

* * *

"He makes more money than you."

Mammon snaps to attention, abruptly standing violently enough that the chair is thrown to the floor. "The fuck he does," Mammon snarls.

They grab Xanxus's wine bottle by the neck, leaving the Varia boss to blink at his empty hand, and smashes the base against the table's edge. It shatters loudly and the wine splashes to the floor. The part Mammon still holds now has jagged and sharp edges, which glint dangerously under the fluorescent lighting as Mammon advances on the target.

* * *

The tenth generation guardians settle into beanbags and comfortable couches. Lambo flicks off the lights and Hayato fiddles with the TV remote, ready to press play on the 'home movie' that's actually just a bunch of security footage stuck together.

"Hey," Mukuro calls out, raising his glass to catch everyone's attention. "Every time you see tonfa, you take a drink," he proposes.

(Okay, look, the short answer is that they get alcohol poisoning.)

* * *

Reborn is just a bit too lenient with regards to boundaries, Tsuna thinks. Things like laws and morals and personal space. But that's okay, because Tsuna loves Reborn no matter what, so it's a good kind of bad.

* * *

"That's the aviary," Tsuna says as he gestures to a completely glass room at the top of the Vongola mansion.

The other boss he's guiding around nods in interest, seeing lots of colourful plants through the glass walls. "What kind of birds do you have?"

Tsuna makes a strange face. "There's only one I own," he says slowly. "It's a skylark."

The other boss jolts in shock when a body slams into the wall, shaking the structure but not breaking the bullet proof glass. It falls away, leaving only a large splatter of red where it impacted. A dark blur falls onto the body and drags it away from view.

"Must be feeding time," Tsuna mutters.

* * *

.

A/N: What's your favourite part?

(I like the Bianchi one, number 3, but I don't know why.)


	21. Parenting - you're doing it wrong

Title: Parenting (you're doing it wrong)

Summary: It's time to pick the next generation of Vongola Guardians. Tsuna goes about it in a way that even Reborn will be proud of.

.

* * *

"Listen," Tsuna hums, looking in between his three children and then over the assembled mass of other kids that belong to his Guardians. "Um, I know that you're all adults now, and I should probably pick an eleventh Vongola boss…"

"Dad," Tsuna's oldest sighs. "Are you seriously telling me you still can't pick?"

"Hey now," Tsuna begins, straightening up and trying to look like he knows what he's doing. "There are a lot of you, okay? You guys can make, like, four sets. This a difficult decision."

His middle child elbows the first and smiles sweetly up at Tsuna. "That's fine, dad, we know it's hard. What did you have in mind so far?"

Tsuna grins back. "I was thinking that maybe we'd put you in a room and you can decide amongst yourselves." His grin becomes rather jagged. "But that would be too easy."

"Be nice, kids," Mukuro chuckles. "We'll see you on the other side."

A wave of Mist flames shrouds the younger generation and they come back to awareness in an empty training room, everything almost pitch black except for a beam of sunlight that comes through a small window and hits the floor at the centre of the room.

The Mists start to conjure brightness but the darkness doesn't dissipate, clearly under Mukuro's control. One of Takeshi's tries to summon Rain flames instead but that doesn't work either.

"They're not mad at us, are they?" Hayato's girl asks but only gets a shrug from her brother.

The occupants of the room glance around and at each other, uncertain if they want to step into the darkness. Kyouya's children move first and the rest follow like baby ducklings, staying close as they search the walls in the darkness, trying to find a door.

"What are we going to do?" Chrome's youngest wonders. "Did Tsuna really mean to talk it out and that last part was just to scare us?"

The lights flicker on and everyone's attention is drawn to one of the walls, right where a Cloud Guardian casually leans, his hands tucked away in his pockets.

"Oh _fuck_," Lambo's oldest squeaks out.

* * *

"I feel kind of bad," Takeshi admits with a sheepish smile.

The tenth generation are still standing in the meeting room, watching the TV set up on a wall. On the screen, some of their children struggle to team up against Kyouya, while the rest fully acknowledge the hopelessness of that plan and are desperately trying to break down the walls.

One of Ryohei's girls punches through the concrete wall finally but stifles a sob when she encounters a lattice of steel bars that glow a faint violet.

"They'll be fine," Hayato dismisses. "Kyouya won't hurt them too badly. Maybe."

"Daddy!" Tsuna's youngest shrieks. "I don't want to be a mafia boss!"

Mukuro abruptly yanks them out and deposits them in the same room as the tenth generation. The poor traumatised adult promptly launches themselves at Tsuna for a reassuring hug.

One of Mukuro's sees the teleportation and screams out their surrender as well, getting transported only miliseconds from being struck by Kyouya's tonfa.

Chrome's oldest splutters. "This is sick!" they cry. "Are you seriously determining the next generation by a game of last man standing?!"

Tsuna's youngest pulls away from the hug slightly to glare at his dad.

Tsuna only shrugs. "Look, I had to go through Mukuro, and Xanxus, and I'm _still_ dealing with _Reborn_, plus you don't even want to know about Byakuran. This is really the nicest way of passing down the Vongola."

Chrome winces when her son gets picked up and thrown at Kyouya. "My children are not projectiles," she sighs.

"It's down to two Lightnings," Lambo murmurs. "Aaaaand yep, okay, my oldest daughter is the new Guardian."

Mukuro chuckles, his eyes on the screen. "He's going for his kids now."

A garbled mess of swears in Japanese, Italian and Mandarin explode from the speakers as Kyouya's children scatter in an attempt at shaking off their parent.


	22. Profile Ramblings

Title: Profile Ramblings

Summary: I tend to see these things in other people's profiles and decided I should join in. These are just short snippets of stories between ten characters, prompted by the questions. (e.g. _You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside that hotel room for MORE then a few hours. What are you thinking?)_

* * *

1\. Reborn

2\. Leon

3\. Kyouya

4\. Fon

5\. Daemon

6\. Mukuro

7\. Dino

8\. Skull

9\. Tsuna

10\. Byakuran

* * *

_Number 3 walked into the bathroom while 2 was showering?_

Kyouya kicks open the bathroom door, tonfa raised for a 'sneak' attack. Reborn is nowhere to be found, but Leon is floating in the bathtub so the hitman must be close.

"Where is your human?" Kyouya demands.

Leon transforms into a steamboat and starts drifting around the large tub, clearly ignoring the Cloud. Kyouya frowns in annoyance but ends up sitting on the edge of the bath, planning on waiting for the hitman to return.

Reborn arrives to find Kyouya inside the bath, his clothes still on, playing with a shark!Leon while Hibird and Roll splash about.

* * *

_Number 4 announced he/she's going to marry 9 tomorrow?_

"I'm going to marry your son," Fon confesses to Nana, having quickly eaten the heavenly brownie the woman gave him.

Tsuna mutters sarcastically, "Well, it's nice to know I'm appreciated for being me."

* * *

_Number 5 cooked 10 dinner?_

Daemon drops a plate of something unidentifiable in front of Byakuran and then smiles widely, mockingly. He coyly brushes down the pink and very frilly apron he wears and then gestures invitingly for Byakuran to eat the black sludge that emits a rather radioactive green light. There also seems to be something moving inside it.

Byakuran responds with an equally empty grin. "My, my, Daemon. I presume you heard my comment about being a bad cook?"

"Nufufufu, of course, _Byakuran_," Daemon hums with a bright spade symbol in his eye. "Seeing as you said it to my face and all, there was really no way for me to ignore you. Your voice tends to grate on the ears."

* * *

_Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of 4's family?_

"I'm… I'm a part of your family," Dino blurts out.

Fon blinks in confusion. "The Triads?"

"No, no," Dino sighs. "Like – I…"

"Oh," Fon says in realisation, pity coming to his eyes. "Dino, I'm not actually a Vongola ally."

"Not mafia family," Dino hedges. "More in the realm of… you know."

Fon's face abruptly blanks. "Chiavarone, if this is your attempt at asking permission for Kyouya's hand-"

Dino quickly backpedals, hands out as a pathetic defence. "Wait, wait! I mean biological family! I'm a cousin!"

Fon, a black-haired Chinese, scans the blond-haired Italian. "Did Reborn tell you this?"

* * *

_Number 8 got into the hospital somehow?_

Skull etches in another tally mark on the underside of the drawer set. He quickly places everything back again and retreats into the hospital bed when he hears a nurse wander past a bit too close to his private room.

At least this time Reborn didn't insist on burying him alive in a graveyard.

* * *

_Number 9 made fun of 6's friends?_

Tsuna says nothing and instead just stares at the corpses who shuffle into the room, blindly following Mukuro.

"This is Tuna," Mukuro introduces, gesturing to a particularly short zombie. "And this is Skylark, and Fedora, and-"

"Mukuro," Tsuna interrupts. "What have I said about grave robbing and playing with corpses? You have no idea where they've been or what diseases they have."

Mukuro gasps dramatically. "Tsunayoshi, are you making fun of my friends? They're not dirty or diseased, just a bit… rotting."

Tuna-zombie bumps into a shelf and knocks over some books. Tsuna-human very calmly takes out his phone and speed dials Chrome.

* * *

_Number 10 ignores 1 all the time?_

Long, graceful fingers pluck a marshmallow from the open packet and place the fluffy treat in between wickedly smirking lips. The white puff disappears inside and a pink tongue darts out to lick the powdery residue off the fingers.

Byakuran twitches a little bit as Reborn leans over and takes another marshmallow, but the Gesso boss doesn't even look in the hitman's direction.

Tsuna looks between the two in worry. "Byakuran, are you okay?"

Byakuran smiles woodenly. "Why wouldn't I be, Tsunayoshi-kun? It's just us two, enjoying a lovely chat."

Reborn chuckles.

* * *

_Two serial killers are hunting 5 down. What will 1 do?_

Reborn peers down the sniper scope and fires off a warning shot.

Daemon flinches belatedly as the bullet skims his ear and slams into the large rubbish bin next to the Mist, causing the metal to groan loudly. Daemon curses and darts further down the alley as the two Vendice chasing him go to investigate the noise.

"Is he okay?" Tsuna asks Reborn through the Leon-earpiece.

"Perfectly fine," the hitman responds, a smirk on his face as he leads the Vendice forward with a trail of breadcrumbs that look oddly akin to bullets.

"Reborn, I can literally hear you smirking," Tsuna berates.

* * *

_3's on a vacation with 2 and manage to break his/her leg. What does 2 do?_

Kyouya stares out at the forest around him, his back resting against the cliff he just fell down. His leg has a mild ache to it and he could probably walk if it was just the pain that stopped him. Unfortunately, the bone is also sticking out of the flesh and does not want to work properly at all.

Kyouya looks down at his leg and debates on whether he could just push it back in or not. It can't be that difficult, right?

Leon floats down then, in parachute mode and attached to a worried Roll, both of them landing in Kyouya's waiting palms. Hibird coasts down as well, tiny yellow wings open as it comes to a soft landing on Kyouya's head and chirps a few concerned 'Hibari's.

Leon scans the broken leg and the impatient expression on the human's face, then shifts into a small airplane before flying off.

Reborn arrives a few minutes later as Kyouya is trying to push the bone back inside his flesh. The Sun user rolls his eyes and crouches down to help fix the injury.

* * *

_It's 1's birthday. What will 3 give him/her?_

**I.O.U one fight**

Reborn looks up from his 'birthday gift' to find that Kyouya already has his tonfa out.

"I'll save this for a special day," the hitman says mockingly and tucks it into his pocket.

* * *

_2 is stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?_

"Reborn, please come out of the house," Fon calls out. "It's on fire."

"I know," the hitman replies, his voice carrying out of the upstairs window. "I'm the one who set it alight."

Fon sighs. "At least think of Leon. He's stuck in there with you."

The lizard comes flying out of the house and Fon quickly catches him. The martial artist then throws the lizard back inside because Reborn might actually get hurt if he doesn't have Leon to watch over him.

* * *

_You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?_

"You should definitely post the chapter," Daemon chuckles mockingly with a 'nufufufu' from behind the author. "Don't worry, Ourliazo, it's not like you just stole some inane questions from a couple of profile pages, and you are most certainly not trying to pass it off as _actual writing,_" he says sarcastically.

Ourliazo sits in front of the laptop, the standard mouse arrow hovering over the red X in the Word document.

Daemon leans in closer, hands tightening on Ourliazo's shoulders. "They all know how bad your writing is. The only way to go from here is up."

Ourliazo sighs and returns to typing.

* * *

_4 is about to marry number 10. What's 1's reaction?_

Fon and Byakuran gaze into each other's eyes, filled with love and adoration.

Reborn looks down at the vial of black liquid in his hand, and reminds himself to check what the poison does before he puts it in people food. He'll get the antidote from Verde later, but for now, he'll just sit back and enjoy the show.

* * *

_8 got rejected by someone. How will 7 cheer him/her up?_

"There's good news to all of this," Dino reassures Skull.

The stuntman just stares blankly at the rejected flowers in his hands.

The bad news is that Skull can't see past Reborn's cosplay. Dino does not say that the good news mainly consists of how _no one else_ can see past Reborn's cosplay either.

* * *

_5 competes in a tournament. How does 9 support him/her?_

"Just try to not kill anyone," Tsuna suggests.

Daemon's smirk is not at all reassuring.

* * *

_Number 2 tells 6 about his/her deeply hidden love for number 9._

"Ah," Mukuro says with a solemn expression on. "I understand, Leon."

Reborn reaches over and snatches his lizard away from Mukuro's grip.

"Wait," Mukuro protests, trying to take back Leon. "He was just telling me about his deeply hidden love for Tsunayoshi."

Reborn hides the lizard behind his back so Mukuro can't reach him. "Is this the same as when Leon 'told' you about his cravings for human flesh?"

* * *

_6 is dating 3 and he/she introduces him/her to his/her parents. Would they get along?_

Mukuro smiles happily and gestures to an unmarked piece of land deep inside an Italian forest. "Mother, Father. This is Kyouya, my boyfriend."

Kyouya peers at the make-shift grave and then up at Mukuro. "We seem to have more in common than I thought."

* * *

_Number 5 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?_

"Your son means everything to me," Daemon manages to mumble out between the cookies from Nana that he's shoving into his face. "I think we're going to get married."

Fon nods in the background, wiping some crumbs from his cheek.

Tsuna sighs.

* * *

_Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?_

lol nope

* * *

_Number 9 is too shy to face 1 and confesses their love by sending an email. Now what?_

Tsuna squeaks in fright when Reborn kicks down the door, yet the brunet still manages to throw himself out of the window to avoid the hail of rubber bullets.

Reborn leans out of the window, not bothering to give chase. "You're pathetic, Dame-Tsuna!" he calls out, but there's a bright smile on his face.

* * *

_You spot 10 kissing 1. How do you react?_

Reborn pulls back from Byakuran and licks his lips. "You taste like sugar."

"You taste like pure sin," Byakuran purrs in response before dragging in the hitman by his tie to get more of a taste.

Meanwhile, Dino has collapse to his knees outside the room and appears to be sobbing the words, "I can never unsee."

* * *

_You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside that hotel room for MORE then a few hours. What are you thinking?_

Tsuna frowns at the door that separates him from Kyouya and Fon. "I don't want to wake them up from their nap, but our flight is leaving soon," he whispers to Hayato.

Hayato shrugs, uncaring. "We could just leave them. Or send in the baseball freak for some entertainment."

"We're not killing Takeshi," Tsuna berates lightly.

* * *

_Could 1 and 6 be soul mates?_

Tsuna is trying to focus on the meeting, he really is. It's just that Reborn and Mukuro are huddle up in one corner, both with a sharp smirk and a wicked glint in their eyes.

* * *

_9 sketches what 6's perfect girl/boyfriend should look like; will 6 be happy?_

Mukuro stares at Tsuna's 'drawing'. "You took a picture of me and then printed it out."

Tsuna blinks. "Well, yes. Are you saying you wouldn't date yourself?"

"Touché, Tsunayoshi," Mukuro mutters.

* * *

_3 accidentally kicked 5?_

"It wasn't accidental," Kyouya corrects Tsuna, unashamed at having just kicked Daemon out of a window.

* * *

_8 has quite a big secret?_

"I'm Harry Potter," Skull admits.

Tsuna blinks. "Uh… congratulations? I'm sorry, I don't know who you're talking about."

Skull surveys the room, everyone else having turned back to their own conversations, completely uncaring about Skull's announcement.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what I was expecting," the stuntman mutters to Tsuna.

* * *

_How would 3 greet 4?_

Fon is cut off mid-conversation with Colonnello, and is instead tackled through a wall by Kyouya.

* * *

_What dream would 5 have about 6?_

"Get out of my mind, Mukuro!" Daemon snaps.

A soft 'kufufufu' fades away as Mukuro retreats after being caught.

* * *

_What would make 10 scared of 1?_

Byakuran watches through the CCTV as Reborn makes his way through the Millefiore building, the hitman slaughtering everyone in his path without a hint of exertion. His eyes are shadowed by the brim of his fedora and his expression is entirely blank, but the killing intent is tangible.

"Release the Anti Tri-ni-set radiation," Byakuran orders.

"It's not finished," a White Spell subordinate protests.

Byakuran lunges out of his couch and violently wrenches the idiot up by his collar. "_Reborn_ is coming – the _World's Greatest Hitman_ is hunting us down and _you want to argue with me?!" _he snarls in anger before throwing the White Spell member to the ground and typing in the computer command himself.

* * *

.

A/N: That took so long and was totally not worth it, but it's here anyway.

You probably don't remember them all, but what's your favourite one? **I might make a longer continuation** if enough people have the same favourite.


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